Missing the opening game of the season for work is probably the saddest most grown up thing I've ever done
In all honesty though, I'm grateful that he's even gone to the trouble. What a guy
When your landlord promises you beer but gets you the Year 9 party starter pack instead..
Donald Trump breastfeeding Jeb Bush is the portrait that will haunt you forever on.mash.to/1ThRKp2
Gary Neville is no longer at Sky, but who could replace him on Monday Night football? Let's take a look... amp.twimg.com/v/f8fd84f9-6ae…
Alastair Cook has now batted longer than the combined total match time of England at the rugby and football world cups #bbccricket #PAKvENG
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT – There is now a full version of "Why You Always Lying": bit.ly/1idyzzO
I'm in 5th Ave on a Saturday and I feel like a wannabe fresher... Tragic
@joeinglis25 @collintyre Ha.. Easy Joe, one day I will have a mighty beard. One Day..
Last chance. Win @SolitaNQ Christmas burger for you and 3 friends with a £50 drinks tab too. RT and follow to enter.
my rich asshole dad fucked w/ me for the last time. im sending $1k of his $ to the first 24562 people to retweet this
All my fantasies came true at once: HELLO AMERICAN DREAM ** RT win ** - I'm bringing a box back for 1 lucky WINNER
A busy transfer deadline day capped a record summer of spending in the @premierleague bbc.in/W4tAGE
If Vidal isn't a United player by September 1st; We'll pre-order FIFA 15 for everyone who retweets this. We are that confident. #vidal #mufc
What a great crowd you were London! Roaring, Singing, Jumping! My kind of folk. Thank you for coming, that was an inordinate amount of fun.
We're delighted to announce the signing of @luis16suarez as our chief ticket validation officer. He's a natural.
United States Trends
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