Lisa McCullough
@Mc_awesomesauce
Coffee-Drinker, Mom of the most dramatic girl child ever and her very loud baby sister. Professional Sarcasticator. I’m very busy and important.
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I really am. People need to stop pissing me off so they can see that
Today my child kept trying to fold herself into a pretzel and saying how much it hurts. I'm gonna start using her college fund to buy wine.
Always think about what you put on for clothing everyday because if you die, remember, those are you ghost clothes forever.
Playing with a “nonsense generator” online. Got this: Gasoline is f***ing cosmopolitan, having a trained assassin stay overnight, letting heartbreaking lies roll over us like a summer breeze. Was not disappointed.
Anxiety causes your body to store fat so that's one more thing to be anxious about... I guess the gym is pointless now 🤷🏻♀️
If I go to the gym 3-4 times a week for 45 mins each day, does that mean I can eat cheeseburgers??🤔 #eatit #burnit #eatitagain
Why does pretty much every county song say something about women putting their feet up on the dash of the dudes truck? What kinda disrespectful women are these dudes dating? And who the hell finds feet, in general, on a dash or otherwise, cute??
It’s not even 6:30am and I already have baby food in my hair....🤷🏻♀️ #justmomthings
Friend: Let's play Would you Rather Me: ok Friend: would you rather relive all of 2017, or fight a shark with only a- Me: FIGHT A SHARK
Do women who swear give a fuck if they don’t?
Do men find women who swear unattractive? trib.al/hJWAIlk
You know you’re getting old when you browse garage sale sights and say “damn, that’s a bitchin’ washer/dryer combo!”
New Years resolutions: 1- speed less 2- get a pet turtle That is all.
Members out again making sure we bring the New Year in right! We have had a good weekend so far with no impaired driver's so hoping to make it 3 for 3. Remember if you see a possible impaired driver call it in! We can all make a difference! #sgi #2018. ^tm
I want to care what you think of me, buuuuut I have to go be awesome now. 🙋🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Have kids so you can be done with your Christmas shopping & they can hand you their "updated" list which includes nothing you bought.
People SAY a lot of things. So I just watch what they DO.
With Travis it’s how he gazes af trucks and truck parts 🙄
Do men find women who swear unattractive? trib.al/hJWAIlk
When life is stressful do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change you name. 🤷🏻♀️
Do you ever look down at your scarred body, swollen bumpy legs and achy joints and think, “I would never pass a pre-purchase exam” Or is that just me? #justhorsethings
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