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"I have a raccoon in my purse.... don't tell anyone" -My cousin at Ouachita's graduation
Lol so my dad saw that the earth is at the perfect axis for brooms to stand up by themselves and now my family is sending pictures of our brooms, enjoy.
Nooot a good enough reason to use the word penetrated
The next time one of y’all want to make a movie about Abraham Lincoln I beg you to consider @PennBadgley with facial hair, please refer to the attached evidence for the uncanny resemblance. (And for those of you confused, that’s Penn in a top hat, not Abe)
I need someone to remind me that it is not good social skills to say “I love a good wiener” to a total stranger when referencing their dachshund puppy
The amount of my friends that commented on my insta story of this picture with “me😅” is astounding pls go to therapy but also same
Every time I work I get coffee and this machine has the AUDACITY to ask me if $4.45 is okay. LIKE NO ITS NOT OKAY but here’s my card see you tomorrow lol
So glad my mom already likes my dog more than me (and my sister but that’s obvious)
“Wow 12 hour shifts must be so hard, you’re probably so busy” Me everyday around 3:00:
My kidneys, skin, and all the rest of me when I realized this morning I’ve only had iced coffee for 3 days
I spent the last three days with @MeredithBolin but I haven’t seen her today and I’m going through withdrawals.
Sarah: Just bc no one texted you today doesn’t mean no one texted me. Me: Lots of people have texted me today! Joseph: Meredith... your school reminders don’t count. Me:
Get you a friend that will FaceTime you at midnight to help calm you down from a panic attack. Thanks for being the best, @MeredithBolin.
@MeredithBolin I looked for this video for 20 minutes and watched it like 10 times this morning. 😂
*talking about how there’s 4 tennis courts* Me: 4 quarts make a dime Mom: no, 4 quarTERS make a dime Sarah: nooooo 2 quarters and a nickle make a dime
Me: okay I’m gonna point at her, am I pointing at her?? Mom: yeah Me:
Me: *crossing things off my todo list* I am CRUSHING this todo list!!! Sarah: What do you mean you’re crushing it.... you only did 2 things... Me:
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