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Q: What do you call the least interesting person with the most amount of money?
Enter the #GOATBlackFriday Raffle for your chance to win the most coveted sneakers and other prizes. @goatapp goat.app.link/HjjDFPTEIR
Enter the #GOATBlackFriday Raffle for your chance to win the most coveted sneakers and other prizes. @goatapp goat.app.link/cjlMulXBIR
I have jumped on the @enjoyLaCroix water hype train. This. Changes. Everything.
I hate it when people bitch at me about things I have no control over. It's like great thank you for making me aware of your sad existence
A finger in the butt is line dessert. I'm not gonna ask for it, but I'm not gonna turn it down either.
Sometimes I think I want to settle down and have children..... and then I go to airports.
No one ever explained satire to @sbpaul. kansascity.com/opinion/opn-co…
If I lived in North Korea; Kim Jong Un would be forcing everyone to have hair like mine. #namastebitches #northkoreaisbestkorea
Whiskey doesn't make me angry. Stupid people who annoy me while I drink whiskey make me angry.
The things I tell a group of strangers sitting at a picnic table....
I came home drunk last night and ate an entire box of spanish rice to myself. What is wrong with me?
I took the blame for one of Grandmas farts. #bestgrandsonever #merryxmas
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