MissingMaternal's profile picture. Everybody needs a place, somewhere that’s warm and safe, a shelter from this crazy world we’re in. (18+ RP)

Wyla Hartwell

@MissingMaternal

Everybody needs a place, somewhere that’s warm and safe, a shelter from this crazy world we’re in. (18+ RP)

== worse than me. Being a parent, /life/, is just about doing the best you can, even if you screw up a few times... Sorry, #Dixie. |)


== Love found me, after I thought I'd lost it for good. It didn't come in the packaging I expected, but does it ever? My kids could do ==


== just...accepted it. I was /destined/ to have a family, however broken, destined to be a mom, even if I'd never be a good one. ==


== didn't ask for it, didn't /want/ it, but...my path chose me, in the end. And I never really got myself together until I ==


== get away and opened my eyes to what it was like being /stuck/ in Bethany with no way out, I realized...I did have some purpose. I ==


== mother look like a Stepford, though I guess the apple /really/ didn't fall far from the tree with that one. Once I stopped trying to ==


== to care for those who were just as misguided and out of love as me, I guess. And there were my nieces, of course. My sister made our ==


== feared it would be). Eventually, I had to let love back in, embrace it, even if I wasn't the most...appropriate guardian. Good enough ==


== something you can turn off though. It changed me, irreparably, not just my vagina (which I'm happy to report, wasn't as damaged as I ==


== care of my daughter had shriveled up and /died/, but I refused to move back in with my mother. Being a parent...that's not really ==


== depressed to go to work...sober. I was not the most welcoming or the most warm-hearted. Any "maternal" instincts I'd developed in the ==


== syndrome by taking in foster children. Hard times call for desperate measures... Like getting fired from your job because you're too ==


== #Dixie got older, and I became more and more forgotten. In a tragically ironic turn of events, I satisfied my premature empty nest ==


== mother, in all the most important ways, a victim of the self-fulfilling prophecy that invades most women's minds in this side of hell. ==


== in the cool way commonly portrayed in film and literature. I looked in the mirror and - was horrified to find - that I'd become my ==


== /yourself/, that you've become /weak/ at the hand of the very thing you always resisted, it changes you, it makes you /dark/ and not ==


== have lost your very purpose, even if it wasn't the one you'd originally sought out, to find that you can no longer recognize ==


== Not because I'd regretted what I'd done, but...to live in an absence of love, after you've come to depend on it, to feel so empty, to ==


== weaken until I hardly felt like her mother anymore. The one thing I'd never wanted to be, I mourned. And I let myself become bitter. ==


== a year. Sometimes she spent the summer, and hated it. And I watched that fragile bond that had grown between us out of circumstance ==


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