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Yesterday a weapons contractor, today Secretary of Defense. “America is back!”
BREAKING NEWS: General Lloyd Austin confirmed 93-2 by Senate. Will become FIRST Black Secretary of Defense!
I've never been more pandered to than when I saw Alex Trebek on drag race ~@built4comfort69
Pounding heavy cream to get my rape vibe back
"All a boy needs is the open Idaho highway, a weed pen, and a song in his heart" @built4comfort69
love it when landlords say you can't sign a lease until you have a job. you first babe ❤️
base from 😱 (fear) eyes from 🤨 (raised-eyebrow) mouth from 😋 (licking-lips)
My favorite type of email is the "We're all in this together" from megacorporations that are actively lobbying against stimulus checks for people
I'll drink anything with vodka, I'd drink piss with vodka in it @masturbaysh
This New Year’s Eve remember: even if you don’t have really regrettable sex or die snorting that ‘one last line of speed’ tonight, there are no new beginnings, you can’t change, and even if you could, it would make no difference at all. Pls continue enjoying arbys in 2019
Soon we say goodbye to a classic. 🌠🌈🎈🍀🌙 ______________ ⚰️⌛⚰️ cerealously.net/news-lucky-cha…
hi @snapchat the new pupdate makes it incredibly difficult for people to find our good dogs and everyone is quite pupset
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