Mommy Needs Vodka
@MomNeedsVodka
Exploring the dark side of parenting with humor. And Vodka. At least I try.
Was dir gefallen könnte
That moment when your kids are fighting, so you make them go outside and kill each other on the lawn instead.
Recycling in 2019: I’m not an alcoholic haha I just had a party Recycling in 2020: omg I swear I didn’t have a party I’m just an alcoholic
Lord, yes!
You know you're a parent when you feel envious hearing about a prisoner in solitary confinement.
I'm married with 3 kids. The only shaving I do is years off my life.
Scary to think that we have gotten to where these may sadly be necessary to purchase for our kids going back to school. :(
You know you're a parent when you feel envious hearing about a prisoner in solitary confinement.
Wow....this is the PERFECT analogy!
After what has been a surprisingly okayish Christmas, I had a moment today in SuperStore. Saw a lady who reminded me of my 92yo grandma, who even in the early stages of dementia, completely understood that my mom died. I thought I’d share the Ball in the Box analogy my Dr told me
So damn true, right?!
After what has been a surprisingly okayish Christmas, I had a moment today in SuperStore. Saw a lady who reminded me of my 92yo grandma, who even in the early stages of dementia, completely understood that my mom died. I thought I’d share the Ball in the Box analogy my Dr told me
So true!!
When you thought the cashier was being kinda flirty like maybe you still have it, but then they drop the "ma'am" bomb.
Good question!
I'm just saying if vodka is made out of potatoes, why aren't vodka-flavored chips a thing?
Epic! 🤣
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.
Every time!
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.
RIP, Dolores O'Riordan. One of my favorite singers, gone too soon. 😢
"kids these days have it too easy" said the generation that could buy a house on a wage from unskilled work at age 21
My wife grabbed my butt last night, not to be sexy, but because she was checking a diaper in her dreams. We've been parents for too long.
CafeMom wrote about my annual Inappropriate Elf on the Shelf series! Thanks to all who contributed!
These might be the most inappropriate Elf on the Shelf photos -- and they're hysterical: trib.al/xfdwwZ3 @MomNeedsVodka
🤣🤣
Cutest thing ever! 😍
![postsecret's profile picture. More Secrets, Stories & Surprises: [mail to] PostSecret
28241 Crown Valley Parkway, F-224
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
or email image to: Frank@PostSecret.com](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/635893956480364545/yPcrA9a2.jpg)
United States Trends
- 1. #WWERaw 77,1 B posts
- 2. Bitget TradFi 14,8 B posts
- 3. Illinois State 19,6 B posts
- 4. #FCSChampionship 2.935 posts
- 5. Montana State 5.917 posts
- 6. Hornets 11 B posts
- 7. Sixers 7.488 posts
- 8. Nuggets 14,4 B posts
- 9. Knicks 20,5 B posts
- 10. Embiid 4.325 posts
- 11. Jalen Pickett 1.531 posts
- 12. Maxey 3.963 posts
- 13. CM Punk 10,7 B posts
- 14. Taco Dowler 1.097 posts
- 15. 76ers 3.353 posts
- 16. Hilton 261 B posts
- 17. Dylan Lord N/A
- 18. Becky 46,8 B posts
- 19. Pistons 13,1 B posts
- 20. Redbirds 1.427 posts
Was dir gefallen könnte
-
Pike Place Market
@pike_place -
Preston D. Mitchum
@PrestonMitchum -
Brad Meltzer
@bradmeltzer -
95.5 KLOSFM
@955KLOS -
Chris G.
@makingitchrisg -
Pete Hailey
@PeteHaileyNBCS -
Les Paris RMC
@ParisRMC -
John Voccio
@VoccioJohn -
🌸Amanda Refusenik
@z00tymanda -
Not Your Mom's Romance 📚 Club
@notyourmomsrom -
María Sol GR 🌻🌞🎼
@MarySuny -
Liliane Ferrari
@lilianeferrari -
Polly RocksReal
@pollyrocksreal2
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.