Amazing Matt Moneymaker Facts
@MoneymakerFacts
The Chuck Norris of Bigfooting
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If Matt and Rick Astley had a baby, it would look a lot like an angry Carrot Top.
Matt was once asked to join the cast of "Expedition Bigfoot", but his demand that his backpack was to be "twice as big" as Russell Acord's was the deal breaker.
Once Matt was asked to guest star in an episode of "Love Boat". When the producers refused to include Bobo and Bart Cutino in the episode, it was reported that became enraged, and threw Captain Stubing so hard that he became Gary Busey.
If Matt and Joe Buck had a child, it's ego and the annoyance it would cause would make it impossible to survive in society. It would need to be adopted by Todd Standing and raised to live in Canada.
Matt's newest hobby is throwing bricks through his TV when "Expedition Bigfoot" is aired. This has caused him to have an annual budget for new TV's to increase by 600% (or $100k).
As any good showman, Matt will often parachute into BFRO expeditions under the cover of night, from a 727, with a briefcase full of "Bigfoot Bucks". He then stumbles into camp and hands them out to participants who properly greet him by kissing his squatch ring.
A favorite pastime of Matt's is getting kicked out of bowling alleys. His preference of bowling barefoot and throwing the balls overhand has damaged many lanes throughout the U.S and several foreign countries.
54 years ago today, a young boy was about to make history as he was tasked with tending to the horses for Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin. That boy was Matt Moneymaker.....
One of Matt's fondest childhood memories was when he stole the families Buick, snuck into Canada, and was able to meet Rene Dahinden. He told Rene "Bigfoots have bioluminescent eyes" at which point Rene had Matt deported and banned from Canada.
Matt's special instructions for DoorDash orders: "This order is for the most prolific Bigfooter in the history of mankind. Please say "I do believe there's a Squatch in this bag" before giving to delivery person. Thanks You"
Albert Ostman and Matt Moneymaker were supposed to make a trip together back in the Toba Inlet area of British Columbia. Matt decided not to go since his thermal imager wasn't working right. The rest is history.
In 1958, a little boy was given a summer job with a logging company near Orleans, CA. One day he arrived on his bicycle and exclaimed "Hey Mr. Crew! Come take a look at these footprints! Sure looks like someone must have had a big foot!" That little boy was Matt Moneymaker.
"The Matt Moneymaker Center for Excellence" may open in 2021. Modeled after the great pyramids, it will feature a 100 foot bronze statue of Matt. It will be aligned with the sun so it will shine on the statue on his birthday. People will be able to rub it's big toe for good luck
Every year on New Years Eve. Matt calls one lucky squatcher and offers him his blessing for a Squatchtacular New Year. He also sends a really nice gift basket with a wood knocker, a "Men of Sasquatchery" Calendar, a nice bottle of wine, and a shirtless picture of Bart Cutino.
One of the lost episodes of "Finding Bigfoot" included the notorious "Shirts and Skins" squatching competition. Needless to say Matt insisted on "Skins" and headed out into the night. The thermal footage of this event are already locked tightly away in the Smithsonian.
While preparing for "Finding Bigfoot", Matt was known to fast and pray for days at a time, alone, on Bluff Creek. His peyote induced visions have become legendary as has his appearance at Louse Camp clad only in a loincloth and a wood knocker. Not that wood knocker.
During a solo night investigation, Matt continued to get responses from his wood knocks. Surprised slightly anxious, he moved toward the sound when everybody's nightmare appeared; a fully grown Vince Neil. Unfortunately the show wasn't "Finding Vince Neil" so they cut the scene.
When Matt was just 7 years old, he caught and brought home a baby sasquatch. He started a huge incident with the military since all this squatch wanted was to "phone home". Matt helped release it with his friends on their bikes....wait. That was the movie "E.T". Oops.... #ammf
When Matt was a baby, he would drink his coffee with what he called "Squatchy Milk". It was ice coffee mixed with tequila, goats milk, and brown sugar. This gave him stamina and the ability to read minds. #ammf
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