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I don't understand why people feel the need to brag. Stay humble and shut up. No one cares.
I get jealous, I get mad, I get worried, I get curious. But that’s only because I love you so much and I don’t wanna lose you.
"I just want you to know that if I were him, I'd never let you go." -LOL
Me: "I'm gonna do my best this year in school!" ...*2 weeks later*... Me: "Fuck this."
How to tell someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings... "Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!"
When I see a typo I look at the keyboard to see if the two keys were close.
Me: "You know how I know you're gay?" Friend: "How?!" Me: "Because you just asked how I knew you were gay..."
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
It's funny how I'm good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to helping myself, I don't know what to do.
you need to stop dwelling on past relationships when you have something good right in front of you.
If being sexy is a crime, then you can just arrest me now. ;)
"I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies" Me: "I wanna be famous, I wanna be a car, And drive over this chick"
![peekxboo's profile picture. [OCRP; FL] ❝I don't like to share. What's mine is mine.❞—Brielle Odelia Sinclair, the youngest of the family.](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/743315955002970112/IQX9YNFE.jpg)
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