Mummyinthemiddle
@MrsMiddleClass
I'm not fashionable, cool or a ‘yummy mummy’- I'm a middle class mum who’s lost in suburbia with unfashionable and down-to-earth views I’m desperate to share…
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My 2yo just ate some chalk. Is it harmful? What shall I do? I assume there's nothing I can do? #help
I would share pictures of my boobs, but the bathroom mirror doesn't go down low enough to get them in the shot.
Gutted I didn't manage to buy a vintage duplo set of cowboys and Indians from Ebay. Think I wanted to play with it more than my boys.
In developing countries new mums don't always have access to information & support. The #firsthour of life is crucial: bit.ly/12R4iN6
Plus you could start training them with the groclock now. If you haven't seen them look them up, they are magic!
My immune system is at an all time low. Anyone got any ideas how I can give it a boost?
'when he hears that fire alarm, Sam is always cool and calm. If you're stuck give him a shout he'll be there to help you out...'
Maybe watching #Lewis will lift my spirits and sooth ruffled feathers. #iloveoxford
Not proud of myself today. Been a shouty and grumpy mum and wife. Should be more grateful that my life is good. #spoiltbratt
Bliss, reading the times and drinking latte on the train #childfreedayout #letoutforgoodbehaviour
Super excited, having child-free day with old friends. My boys kept me up half the nite but as usual caffeine should come to my rescue :-)
I try to make sure that the first embarrassing thing a girl sees when she takes off my pants is how high I wear my socks.
It would be much better if bras had buttons -- chocolate buttons. That would be yummy! I've never had a girlfriend.
Tonight we've been playing 2 games. Musical beds and who can snore the loudest. Think I lost. #wideawake
My pal @kevingopal wants me to tell you all about the new burger range - My Lidl Pony
My job should just pay me with alcohol instead of money so we could finally cut out the middle man.
If we’re fighting for gender equality then women should let us win some arguments.
My girlfriend wants roses for valentine’s day. Because what else shows eternal love like plants that die in less than 24 hours?
Been to the doctors today, have been told I need a more Stable diet, they suggested lots of Findus Lasagne
Whilst doing my jobs i've made the mistake of watching Jeremy Kyle all I can say is that it's #vile
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