Fake Deepak Chopra
@NotDeepak
I am not Deepak Chopra. However, I will probably make just as much sense. And I have 50% fewer calories.
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.@EliManning tells dad jokes with @ShaunOHara60. You're welcome 🤣 Full video: nygnt.co/dadjokes
Time knows no bounds. We are all restricted only by the what we allow time to hold us to. Just ask @VP Mike Pence.
Know that you are greater than any result. (Unless Iran manages to actually arrest @realDonaldTrump. Then that shit wins.)
There is no question too stupid to consider. (For you, I mean. Don't expect me to waste time on that crap.)
When I am alone, I am in darkness. But when I am with you, I can see everything. So maybe you’d better put on some undies.
Mind is a subtle form of consciousness. Matter is a dense form of consciousness. But my mind is denser than most matter. #CosmicConsciousness
We must never feign appreciation, but if we feel it, then we must express it. Send nudes!
We are all islands floating in an infinite sea of possibilities. Of course my island has a golf course, a spa and seventeen banks.
The youngest child and the oldest adult still share many aspects of being. (For example, the need for diapers.)
Consciousness is the belief in higher powers. #CosmicConsciousness is the belief in higher profits.
No perception is more true or more false than another. (Of course, my perception that this is true could be false.)
When you want to speak to your inner self, you will find that it will meet you anywhere. This men's room stall will do.
Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words. (A really nice ass doesn't hurt either.)
Uncertainty is the fertile ground of pure creativity. Although I'm not certain of that. Boom! See what I did there, Twacolytes?
Any thought you produce, any thing you say, any action you do, bears your signature. So should the check you write me to begin our six week course.
The more universal & cosmic your sense of self is, the bigger your world appears. Shaving the area around your world also helps it appear bigger.
Free will is the key to a person's inner drive and their level of self awareness. But a roofie should take care that pesky nonsense.
Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. (I’m looking at you, Kavanaugh.)
When people are angry they shout. When they are in love they whisper. But when they truly become love, they are silent. (And when they are eating beans, they are silent but deadly.)
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