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Grocery shopping on Sunday morning is bad enough without realizing that the woman in front of you is carrying two live ferrets in a clear backpack as she fondles the bell peppers.
Why am I being bombarded by all of these rightwing conspiracy theorist asshats on Twitter? Jeeeezus.
Discussions about guns always divorce into a spiral that reminds me of nothing more than a toilet flushing.
The silver britches went. #BackToBack #NationalChampionship #GoDawgs
I feel like Dugan just needs to lie down and refuse to get back up. #NationalChampionship
That’s two rushing touchdowns for the “diminutive quarterback.” #GoDawgs
Y’all, I just discovered via a clip from Glee that the lyric is not “you’re in my daybed at night, workin’ up a sweat” and I’m embarrassed for about fifteen different reasons.
Why, yes, I AM deep-cleaning the fridge the morning of the #PeachBowl. #GoDawgs #nervesofsteel
Thank all of the traffic gods for @PeachPassGA, but we need better mass transit in Georgia.
Will is playing The Smiths as we drive through Atlanta traffic, so I’m super happy.
My eyebrows this morning are neither twins nor even sisters at all. They’re more like cousins who try to one-up each other with casseroles at Thanksgiving.
United States Trends
- 1. Minneapolis N/A
- 2. Walz N/A
- 3. McCarthy N/A
- 4. 2nd Amendment N/A
- 5. Rodgers N/A
- 6. Kingston Flemings N/A
- 7. National Guard N/A
- 8. The Steelers N/A
- 9. Rooney N/A
- 10. Keaton Wagler N/A
- 11. Kyle Rittenhouse N/A
- 12. Abolish ICE N/A
- 13. Border Patrol N/A
- 14. Armed N/A
- 15. Embiid N/A
- 16. MURDERED N/A
- 17. Liverpool N/A
- 18. Gestapo N/A
- 19. Second Amendment N/A
- 20. Slot N/A
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