Objectify Men
@ObjectifyMen
Men are like copiers, they're good for reproduction but that's it. Followed by @nicolerichie bitches
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#SheLeftYouBecause you said her sweater was a "fabulous chartreuse concoction of cashmere"
I've never actually wished for a child to go through a wood chipper. Then came honey boo boo.
Whenever I feel down, I like to go to public parks and shout into a megaphone "SANTA CLAUSE ISN'T REAL!" That cheers me up.
Sweat is the worst thing about being a human. That and mucus.
#EverybodyHas that one fantasy that gets them through a boring lecture. #yes #comeherechanning
Carly Rae Jepson, this is the 21st century. You call him. #WhatAWoman
"oh my god I have those exact same skinny jeans!" Something a girl should never say to her date unless she's a lesbian.
You want me to stay skinny through the winter time? Make a carb free mac & cheese.
You got a promise ring in 8th grade? Talk to me in two years slut.
I think BooBah was created just so people who haven't snorted crack can see what it feels like
You know what I think about the morning after 4th of July? Where's the aspirin and why are you still in my bed?
How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, unless you count the guy who asks his wife to do it for him.
Beyonce bought Jay Z a private jet for his birthday. There goes Blue Ivy's college fund #Ha #LikeSheNeedsCollege
#ThatAwkwardMoment when you're in traffic, you look over and the guy next to you is getting head in his car #FuckYou #IWantSome
Kristen Stewart, why are you so awkward? Oh right, BECAUSE YOU'RE DATING A FUCKING SLUTTY VAMPIRE! #BadIdea #HesGonnaEatYou #NotInTheGoodWay
I bring black lights to hotel rooms because I know how dirty you can get it
#CanadaDay ........................................ just why?
Why does Barbie have tits but Ken doesn't have a dick? It's a girl toy. Obviously made for lesbians.
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