Talking to the lampshade cuz he’s the only one bright enough to get your jokes
Praying to the porcelain gods that I too can one day be made out of bubbles
Don't know what boughs are but by golly they gonna be filled with holly ho ho ho bitch
Sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker please help me find a cure and end the suffering
"I'm totally fine; I'm doing okay" I say to myself right before I accidentally use face wash as shampoo
Tfw it's so hot so bae shoves ice cubes down your thong
Tfw he wants u to call him daddy but u don't support daddy issue complexes
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I'm eating liquid mashed potatoes with a fork and this just seems like a fitting metaphor for my life
Only ate half my lunch and drop kicked the treadmill today as a workout pls listen to how better I am than you
. @TheRealHepcat my pussy is timeless and cannot be held down by space time concepts
When u wanna dance all nite long but Drake cuts u off after one
When u have a busy chest and tattoo "go big or go home" all over it
Trying to make a move on the Statue of Liberty on her birthday but the damn explosions in the sky are ruining your moment
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