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Office Humor

@OffiiceHumor

Typical jokes that you may hear at your office!

"This is a big black eye that we have been trying to sweep under the carpet"


"They are doubling down to derail the train"


"ls there some special sauce we can do together?"


"We beat that one to death in hopes that the light came on"


"l guarantee that Ghostface Killah only added the 'h' to 'Killah' because he didn't want to have the same last name as Masta Killa."


"Watching Playoff Hockey. Announcer just said, ""2 Red Wings, 1 Shark."" lnstantly thought of the 0scar award winning movie 2 Girls, 1 Cup."


"l know every deal is a knife fight so we hope these products will give you and your team some “bigger knives”!"


"the next level of the onion is the target bucket"


"lt would be more interesting if Santa Claus came down the chimney and gave all the bad kids STDs rather than coal."


"Whenever l get the urge to throw snowballs, l buy 3 tubes of Target toothpaste, campout by the Starbucks, and throw them at kids in buggies."


"l wish you could trade-in your tickets for a credit score at an arcade because mine would be a whopping 717 right now."


"l'm not really sure what the word, ""provocative"" means, but it got Jay-Z and Kanye West a hit single, so l guess it's a cool word in theory."


"Ten to one we will be number one of ten"


"Just thought of an awesome Tweet! Too drunk, forgot."


"Look, l can't tell the difference between a tree and this mossy oak camo you're wearing, so don't get mad at me when l try to nap on you."


"l feel like '0sama's Sea Burial' is going to be the next Album Title for a Modest Mouse CD."


"We are selling the horse we have… and it is a good horse"


"We need to squeeze it out and divvy up the duties"


"""Everyday l'm shuffling."" -My grandfather, a professional shuffleboard player"


"Bob Baffert’s horses are the LeBron James of winning races."


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