OneSarahGreco's profile picture. That's too bad. Have you tried whining about it on the internet?

Sarah Greco

@OneSarahGreco

That's too bad. Have you tried whining about it on the internet?

Unfollow your dreams! (marketing Twitter here, obviously)


We get it. You have a small penis.

OneSarahGreco's tweet image. We get it. You have a small penis.

You know what's awesome? Not much.


I'm gonna have one glass of wine now and save the rest of the bottle for also now.


First rule of absent-minded club is I like cheese. Seriously, on almost anything.


It's about your performance art increasing drugs. We all worry about you. Can you just sit down so we can talk?

OneSarahGreco's tweet image. It's about your performance art increasing drugs. We all worry about you. Can you just sit down so we can talk?

"A certain degree of discretion might be in order if you understand me." "Got it. Fahrenheit. No? Celcius? Help me out here!"


If you're right all the time it must be comforting to know there's always someone left out there to prove wrong.


Back off or I'm gonna hurt you right in the feelings.


So you preach the word? On Twitter we call that "stealing tweets" but we do it from different accounts rather than just God.


Defrost means "to voluntarily wait salivating for longer than necessary" in microwave.


SPOILER ALERT The Revenant is pretty much when Leo is incapacitated in Wolf of Wall Street except it's a bear and not quaaludes.


And as you read this tweet your eye lids are becoming heavier. You're decending into state of complete... relaxation… Not working, huh?


Alien enthusiasts never tell you what's in the first 50 areas. Trust no one.


"You are the light of my life" I say opening my fridge.


So there I was being told they'd prefer if I leave thinking how did I become a preferred customer in the first place the way I was going on.


I always carry a can of pepper spray, an expandable baton and a rhythm stick. Better safe than sorry.


Trying to solve the case of the lost sneeze but clues are few and far between.


This means you should get to drive when you're three, right?

OneSarahGreco's tweet image. This means you should get to drive when you're three, right?

I need to work on disagreeing with attractive people as much as I arbitrarily assume the opposite opinion of everyone else.


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