(And yes, they had excellent Wi-Fi signal which wasn't in any way obscured by the trees)
(And no, they did have access to NME, MTV and other radio stations, so that doesn't explain it either...)
(Who assured the Happy Clappy Chappies that they had not heard of the band under their former name, the Prittsticks)
(The journey had taken many months, and they had only played four gigs, all of which were enforced upon uncertain woodland folk)
Eventually, the band reached their destination - the Evil Postman's house by the bottle bank on the other side of the land of no return.
"If I made a movie out of this journey, I would cut Tom Bombadil out," said Bernard cynically.
Who was a nice person, apart from the incessant singing of odd songs which didn't make sense.
And also the party where Cecil and Mr Moretti were mistaken as Merry and Pippin from the Lord of the Rings by some guy named Tom Bombadil
(And had to immediately abandon the journey to deposit it in his building society, because interest doesn't earn itself)
And the party where Cecil stole a large amount of treasure and riches from a sleeping dragon named Smaug
Apart from the part where Bernard was almost eaten by a tree
The journey to the other side of the land of no return was mostly uneventful
The band set off on the arduous journey across Sheerluck Forest.
Just in case they meet any lifelong fans on their journey who might demand an impromptu gig
Fourteen days later, once The Happy Clappy Chappies had hired a truck large enough to transport all their band equipment
"He is pretty spectacularly evil most of the time..."
While stroking his guitar a little too over-protectively
"I propose that we go and visit the Evil Postman who lives on the other side of Sheerluck Forest," Bernard interrupted
Cecil and Mr Moretti exchanged puzzled glances, " but I thought you said-"
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