My Invisible Story
@Overcomhers
Decoding narcissistic abuse. Helping others to positively and powerfully recover from narcissistic abuse and trauma.
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The discard is an illusion. Narcissists never truly discard anyone. However, they do shelve their supply for when they are ready to come back around ie hoover. The only one who can really discard is YOU.
Always remember that narcissists are people addicts. They are always looking for the next fix, in people. Their appetite is insatiable, and when they’ve had enough they move on quickly to their next victim. The cycle repeats over and over…
A Narcissist's main focus is to destabilise you in order to gain power and control - emotionally and otherwise. They lay it on heavy in the love bombing stage and further on into the relationship. Pay mindful attention to what’s happening in your heart, mind, gut and body.
Post narcissistic abuse we are left with so many questions. We seek to understand the ins and outs of our experience. In reality, we may never get the answers to our questions or understand because it's impossible to use logic to try and understand completely illogical actions.
When you can be upfront about what you're not willing to tolerate, it's not being called being insecure. It's being clear, setting and enforcing your boundaries. It's self-care. Toxic individuals will have you believing otherwise.
They're not abandoning you. They're abandoning themselves. As hard as it is not to take the discard personally, it really isn't about you but about the narcissist's fear of rejection and inability to take accountability and face themselves.
A narcissist will use your emotions for them to paralyse your self-worth, self-love and self-esteem to the same level as theirs, keeping you locked in their reality. The way out is to remove your presence from their life, and learn how to deal with your emotions effectively.
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.
Trust your intuition. It is your inner source of wisdom, part of your true nature and truth. It's there to keep you safe. Learn to trust it. When dealing with a narcissist, we tend to override it, but if we listen we can avoid narcissistic entanglements at the first signs.
A narcissist typically throws "bait" in order to trigger you. They do so to tempt you, cause you to remove your boundaries and pull you back into the toxic dynamic. Recognise your vulnerabilities so you can regain control of your emotional reactions and responses around them.
You know you've healed when you point blank refuse to tolerate and repeat the same toxic relationship patterns. You can't ignore the red flags. Regardless of how you feel about a person, there's no way you could go through that hell ever again. That's what recovery looks like.
You deserve more than the bare minimum. If you love deeply and give freely, then you deserve to be loved in the same way. Don't settle. Keep your standards high and protect your heart and mind because it takes a special kind of person to know what to do with your kind of love.
Narcissistic abuse completely strips you down. It also offers an opportunity to build up again with stronger, firmer foundations than ever. Learning compassion, self-esteem, self-love, boundaries and healthy communication will benefit your life and relationships moving forward.
When in a relationship with someone who doesn't know their worth, they'll eventually test you to see if you know yours. People can only take you as far as they've gone themselves. That's why it's vital to recognise your own worth, so the only person taking anyone anywhere is you.
When you are used to being hard on yourself, taking the blame, feeling guilty, always taking responsibility and neglecting your own needs, it makes it easier for a narcissist to reinforce that dynamic and use it to their advantage.
Narcissistic relationships cause you to live in an illusion rather than being grounded in reality. Due to manipulation, the narcissist's behaviour can be downplayed with excuses. You cling to the hope that things will get better and they'll eventually change.. but they rarely do.
Narcissists target people who lack boundaries or don't have any. When you stand strong in your boundaries, it's less likely that you'll tolerate abuse from anyone. Learning to create healthy, firm boundaries will give you the strength you need to end that toxic relationship.
Narcissists will isolate you because people who are isolated are easier to manipulate - they have no point of reference, or anyone to look at their situation and tell them it's not OK. Human connection is vital for your wellbeing and recovery.
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