Theophilus “Forensic” Wildebeest 🥦
@PWildebest
Most fertile man in the universe. I am going to come amongst you and that doesn’t mean I will spontaneously explode...
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David Lammy at PMQs: “My father was ran out of business under the thatcher government” So we brought Mrs Thatcher back to run him out of business as well ⬇️
Sean Connery picking categories on Jeopardy will never not be funny
Afternoon all! Im juuuuust short of 2,000 followers of my obviously hilarious (and not wine inspired at all!) rants. If you see this and could do me the honour of a repost to spread the word, it would be most lovely! The more patriots the better! PPP x
This is brilliant 🤣
Sounding like it could be a new Craig David hit 🤣
Monday: Keir Starmer Tuesday: John Swinney Wednesday: Emmanuel Macron Thursday: Zack Polanski just because Friday: Any BBC employee Saturday: My wanker of a boss Sunday: Lenny fucking Henry Have i missed anyone?
Today in Parliament: PMQs The Dalek of Downing Street returns. But this time he’s up against Kemi “Tom Baker” Badenoch – scarf, sonic and all. Fledgling, robotic Keir Starmer just stood there beeping while Doctor Kemi fired off questions he desperately wanted to avoid.
Fiona Bruce does her best MJ with the cast of BBC Question Time, it’s “Planted Immigrant” from The Crewkerne Gazette. Perhaps the most controversial and most biased episode of Question Time in living memory.
GET THIS TO NUMBER 1 - it can't go on our country is a MESS!
Keir Starmer’s poll numbers and his centre of gravity now have something in common: neither of them are staying upright. You’ll like this song 🤣
Well it’s 18.51 now. I’d be ok with that…
BREAKING Sir Keir Starmer tells me he wants to go on as Prime Minister until 2034 at the latest. Watch my interview with the PM in South Africa now on @GBNEWS.
🚨DOWNING STREET DEMANDS EVERYONE STOP SHARING KEIR STARMER STUMBLE FOOTAGE They've actually asked broadcasters to stop playing the footage 🤣 Any excuse to keep on posting it 👍
Omg who makes these … very very clever 😳😳😳
This deserves a second look as @DominicFrisby sings "We're all far-right now" to the tune of "Knees Up Mother Brown". This hits a few raw nerves. He transports back to a Victorian music hall. No doubt Dominic will be adding his tour dates in a few moments in the comments.
President Trump went full West Coast and dropped a rap video so effective the BBC panic-bought traffic cones and declared martial law in Salford. Snoop Dogg was reportedly found in Morrisons muttering “he’s the one.” It’s BBC BILLION Deadline day is here!
A devastating full broadside was fired at David Lammy in the Commons today. @RobertJenrick unleashed the facts, and the Labour flagship is now taking on water fast.
It’s Don’t call me Dave, the Musical!
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