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ParentProverbs's profile picture. Shit your folks say but should really have kept in their heads. Courtesy of Derek and Marjory, my mum and dad.

Proverbs of Parents ™

@ParentProverbs

Shit your folks say but should really have kept in their heads. Courtesy of Derek and Marjory, my mum and dad.

1KPosts 510Followers 2KFollowing
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Sep 26

Mum: everything’s £21! Apart from the perms and balayages which are four times the price. So, everything’s a multiple of £21, actually. #Maths

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Mum: everything’s £21! Apart from the perms and balayages which are four times the price. So, everything’s a multiple of £21, actually. #Maths
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Sep 13

Dad: New shop coming soon. For women with two absolutely identical tits. @rigbyandpeller

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: New shop coming soon. For women with two absolutely identical tits. @rigbyandpeller
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Jun 19

Dad: Come now @Wendys, your burger wasn’t that bad

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: Come now @Wendys, your burger wasn’t that bad
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Jun 4

Dad: I’m gonna say Jewish boys, when they reach 8 days old? 🤭 @Ryanair

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: I’m gonna say Jewish boys, when they reach 8 days old? 🤭 @Ryanair
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
May 30

Dad: Rhetoric and reality never seem to be in the same room as each other these days. All this nonsense about London being too dangerous. Tosh!

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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
May 18

Dad: interracial relationship problems. 😆 😆

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: interracial relationship problems. 😆 😆
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ParentProverbs's profile picture.
Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
May 18

Mum: What berries are brown, for heaven’s sake? What a stupid phrase. #suntan #brownasalog

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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
May 8

Dad: actual live footage of Brexit 😆 😆 😆

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: actual live footage of Brexit 😆 😆 😆
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
May 3

Mum: Derek I have dry patches on my toast. That’s no way to butter up, and well you know it! State of your breakfast preparation.

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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Apr 11

Dad: If tea didn’t start off so damn hot I’d like it more #tea

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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Mar 23

Mum: I’m not one to laugh at misfortune. But the tourist I just saw walk straight into the lift and out the open door opposite at Russell Square has me in creases 😹 😹

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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Mar 18

Dad: @ManchesterEven bwahaha, muppets. Police are talking about a crime scene, not a fucking panto production.

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: @ManchesterEven bwahaha, muppets. Police are talking about a crime scene, not a fucking panto production.
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Proverbs of Parents ™
 @ParentProverbs
Mar 7

Dad: With guest WHO? Not what I would have expected of John-Boy #TheWaltons

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: With guest WHO? Not what I would have expected of John-Boy #TheWaltons
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MrBonMot's profile picture. Currently being blocked by Twitter for using the word Crack*r in one of my posts @support decided the word C*acker is HATEFUL CONTENT!

Jim Corbridge

@MrBonMot
mattwood1958's profile picture. Ex-academic, Scouse & proud (now Brighton/Sussex). Reds, golf, cycling, walking, swimming, reading, music, ale, wordplay. Pro EU, NHS, Social Justice

Matt Wood

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RichardPulsford's profile picture. UK Pun Champion & SCOTY runner-up. 3x Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe jokes. As seen on C4. UK-wide tour in 2026. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened

Richard Pulsford

@RichardPulsford
Norfolkinidea's profile picture. Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC

The Bard of Cleasby (Or just plain Chris)

@Norfolkinidea
jpkeates's profile picture. And I'm done. Adding content here supports a platform that's increasingly doing bad things. @jpkeates.com on bluesky @jpkeates@mastodon.social

John-Paul Keates

@jpkeates
dave43law's profile picture. A UK without poverty, for the NHS, for a sustainable future and a life without Tories or Farage #FBPE #LabourLandslide #KeepTheToriesOut

dave lawrence 🐟🐟🐠

@dave43law
tog1989's profile picture. Someone has destroyed the dumplings at the local Chinese takeaway, I think that’s Wonton Vandalism. The Man With The Golden Puns. #CFC #Traveller #BrentfordFC

UncleTog1️⃣9️⃣8️⃣9️⃣⭐️⭐️🇾🇪🇺🇦

@tog1989
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Richard Stone

@RichardStone21
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Zara Zee

@Zeddeee
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Sharron-lee Honey 🐠🐟🐡🇺🇦❤️

@sharron_honey
RedJohnBounds's profile picture. We live in a propaganda state.

RedJohnSocialist

@RedJohnBounds
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simon maginn

@simonmaginn
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Paul Kelly

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Dave Brennan 🇮🇪

@DaveBrennan2226
dredd_dred's profile picture. Peace. One love, one ❤ 🇯🇲 and all that.🤞🏿Rubbish punster but great funster, Fluent in Gobbledygook.MUFC, NTFC

Dred D Red🌎

@dredd_dred
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Lee O'Connell

@MisterOConnell_
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🐟 Snowy & The Beaks.

@snowy2007
ref_tm's profile picture. Retired. https://t.co/GhcoxXvjIp

Mohammed Miah

@ref_tm
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Call Me Al Farm

@eggforbread
Caffeine748's profile picture. Crusader for wordplay, puns and corect spelling.

A Shining Wit

@Caffeine748
madiusrt's profile picture. 18 🍓 spam account :/ have new of... and i want someone to make content with ↓

madi💗

@madiusrt
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Lucas Evan

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Kendall Glynn

@GlynnKendall2
covert_Love3's profile picture. Be very selective about what you eat. There is nothing new under the Sun.

Alex

@covert_Love3
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Publisher Clearing House

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Soreflirs

@soreflirs59709
MF99's profile picture. Centre Left, europhile, humanist. GenX terfy zionist.

RadicalCentristGenXer

@MF99
TheN1James's profile picture. Whether you're laughing with me or at me, I made you laugh.

James

@TheN1James
BlackDahlia____'s profile picture. I’m not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example. 🍉 (“Vile little she-devil”)

Black Dahlia 🇵🇸

@BlackDahlia____
ElmosUnderpants's profile picture. ( •_•) (⌐■_■)

Skip Intro (⌐■_■)

@ElmosUnderpants
DavidBrownlie5's profile picture. Barber, Music Producer, Musician, Socialist, Discord - https://t.co/9YEBrqIo2o YouTube - https://t.co/4t4zvyDkBU

DavieBee (Dave the Producer)

@DavidBrownlie5
jpfermer's profile picture. Ex fully-clothed civil servant. HWTL.

Jon McKinley 💚🇪🇺🇬🇧🇭🇰🇮🇪

@jpfermer
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Sam

@rosie_2806
DaveJWoodward's profile picture. Living the dream retirement in Spain. Brexit is a disaster! Pro European! Northampton Saints Rugby! #FBPE

David Woodward 🏉😇🎤🇪🇺🇬🇧🇪🇸🇺🇦

@DaveJWoodward
daya_luxx's profile picture. free 🇵🇸 !! he/him #LUXXNATION #JANESPASSENGER #KINGDOM #JAREAMER #TEAMDARLENE

helicopter helena #TEAMDARLENE

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vecchio_uomo's profile picture. Lover of all things Italian, rum, football, tattoos, some politics and dark comedy. Typo aficionado, frequently fallling foul of autocorrect.

G il Vecchio Uomo

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njc99's profile picture. Curious about science. Horrified about Brexit. RT's are not necessarily endorsement. Views are my own. No DMs.

DoubleHelixGirl 🇪🇺🌻

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EuropeanUnity1's profile picture. Lefty dogooder liberal elite tofu-eating wokerati snowflake remoaner anti-growth coalition blob-Apparently 1 of 50 million Britons who did not vote for brexit

European Unity #FBPE #RejoinEU🇪🇺🇺🇦🇨🇦#NAFO

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Leslieoo7's profile picture. Ugh.

Leslieoo7 🇺🇲 🇺🇦

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MarrowLord2's profile picture. Meh, adequate. Knavish Proclivities and Boisterous Intent “I’ve got a reputation of being a man with a gift of words…a romantic poetic type, or so they say”

ˡⁱᵒⁿᵉˡ ⁿᵘᵗᵐᵉᵍ ²

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rigormortis46's profile picture. Poet, poor & ancient he/him

EdAPoe. 🇺🇦

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marcos_ffilho's profile picture. Trabalho Com Kwai e TikTok.

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g_gosden's profile picture. deep woke, polymath, bunny hugger, hard centrist, 💕 girly swots, 🕷🕷anti Brexit, mountain biker, bookshop owner, hard remainer, anti fascist. EU citizen.🇨🇦

Simon Gosden. Esq. #fbpe 3.5% 🇪🇺🐟🇬🇧🏴‍☠️🦠💙

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carole S 🐶🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

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Bob Hopcraft

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@Elke120269
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Solithra ☀️

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FightingAnne1

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MarkBenney1's profile picture. Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback. No longer obviously not a golfer. Following does not mean agreement.

Mark Benney

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𝕏 Frunky Times 𝕏

@FrunkyTimes
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Martin Harmer

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Prof David Whitehead MRIA 🇪🇺 🇮🇪 🇫🇷 💙 💚

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howard lloyd

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Thebookwasbetter 🐱🇪🇺❤️

@Thebookwasbett4
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Jill Scott-Davies 🎉🎉#FBPE ❤️💙💙❤️

@Jillyjobs
MichaelFor39703's profile picture. Welcome to my corner of the internet, where I share my thoughts

Michael ford

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Nima 🇬🇧🇪🇺🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

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Louhp's profile picture. general bad speller happy go lucky fly by the seat of my pants kinda guy. My Karma ran over my Dogma

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ronnygill67's profile picture. Tyneside where it's always ok to punch a nazi

Anti Unkle

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heyrehair's profile picture. It's a madhouse.

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ChuckCash's profile picture. Part time Village idiot.

Chuck Ca$h

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MarinaPurkiss's profile picture. I’m not always having a go at wrong’uns…sometimes I’m sleeping | Political Commentator & Podcaster | @thetrawlpodcast | @jeremyvineon5 | @lbc |

Marina Purkiss

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PeterStefanovi2's profile picture. Lawyer, Vlogger, Big Issue Top 100 Changemaker 2024, CEO CAMPAIGN FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE https://t.co/PncSg2x1Su https://t.co/vMqXRCoVPt

Peter Stefanovic

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MrBonMot's profile picture. Currently being blocked by Twitter for using the word Crack*r in one of my posts @support decided the word C*acker is HATEFUL CONTENT!

Jim Corbridge

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pad_gal's profile picture.

Paddy Gallagher

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2112Westy's profile picture. Progressive Rock, Horses,Wildlife, Grotesque Films, Great Literature & General Bollocks. COPD sufferer and who reads profiles anyway.

🎼 𝕸𝕬𝕽𝕂 🎼

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Chris Bryant

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campbellclaret's profile picture. Writer, communicator, consultant, strategist, mental health campaigner. Does podcast The Rest is Politics with ex Tory minister Rory Stewart.

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mattwood1958's profile picture. Ex-academic, Scouse & proud (now Brighton/Sussex). Reds, golf, cycling, walking, swimming, reading, music, ale, wordplay. Pro EU, NHS, Social Justice

Matt Wood

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RichardPulsford's profile picture. UK Pun Champion & SCOTY runner-up. 3x Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe jokes. As seen on C4. UK-wide tour in 2026. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened

Richard Pulsford

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Norfolkinidea's profile picture. Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC

The Bard of Cleasby (Or just plain Chris)

@Norfolkinidea
Baddiel's profile picture. Jew

David Baddiel

@Baddiel
jpkeates's profile picture. And I'm done. Adding content here supports a platform that's increasingly doing bad things. @jpkeates.com on bluesky @jpkeates@mastodon.social

John-Paul Keates

@jpkeates
dave43law's profile picture. A UK without poverty, for the NHS, for a sustainable future and a life without Tories or Farage #FBPE #LabourLandslide #KeepTheToriesOut

dave lawrence 🐟🐟🐠

@dave43law
tog1989's profile picture. Someone has destroyed the dumplings at the local Chinese takeaway, I think that’s Wonton Vandalism. The Man With The Golden Puns. #CFC #Traveller #BrentfordFC

UncleTog1️⃣9️⃣8️⃣9️⃣⭐️⭐️🇾🇪🇺🇦

@tog1989
mrdavemacleod's profile picture. Internet stuff for Private Eye ⚡️ All views my nans

dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻

@mrdavemacleod
RichardStone21's profile picture. Ex financial programmer, economics, the 3Rs, humour and puns, walking, nature, music, photography, board games.

Richard Stone

@RichardStone21
Harvey741's profile picture.

Jonathan Harvey

@Harvey741
Eyeswideopen69's profile picture. Socially distanced from Tories since birth - thanks mum! Ex … journalist, editor, music distributor, restaurant manager, barman, tour guide and teacher.

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MrMichaelSpicer's profile picture. I'm going on tour in 2026. Listen to my show 'No Room' on BBC Radio 4. I didn't pay for my checkmark.

Michael Spicer

@MrMichaelSpicer
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Kendall Glynn

@GlynnKendall2
NiallHarbison's profile picture. On a mission to save street dogs around the world. You can support here...

Niall Harbison

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TammyRichi18790's profile picture. 📲 Send A Direct Message To Apply Today! 💵Winners Every Day 🎁 Enter To Win 8 Grand Prizes Every Week Publisher Clearing House

Publisher Clearing House

@TammyRichi18790
marcos_ffilho's profile picture. Trabalho Com Kwai e TikTok.

Porta Linda Preta

@marcos_ffilho
AlexanderPayton's profile picture. Space lawyer by trade. Conservative takes on politics, policy, and America’s future. @corbinmadisonr🤵‍♂️🤵‍♂️ @Harvard_Law ‘21 @EdinburghUni ‘14. Views my own.

Payton Alexander

@AlexanderPayton
winstone2601's profile picture. I am not the ghost of Sid James.

Winstone2601🗿🗿🐼🐼

@winstone2601
TheN1James's profile picture. Whether you're laughing with me or at me, I made you laugh.

James

@TheN1James
SmokerWoke's profile picture. Everything I don't like in life = "woke". Let's crush it before it destroys the world! Multiflags = more patriotic than you! 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 (I'm a parody idiot)

🇬🇧 Wokefinder General 🇬🇧

@SmokerWoke
BlackDahlia____'s profile picture. I’m not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example. 🍉 (“Vile little she-devil”)

Black Dahlia 🇵🇸

@BlackDahlia____
ElmosUnderpants's profile picture. ( •_•) (⌐■_■)

Skip Intro (⌐■_■)

@ElmosUnderpants
stuzi_pants's profile picture. even after all soldier, your soul will survive, and it’s beautiful

Stuzi 🐝🐝

@stuzi_pants
Marlowe_UK's profile picture. Well travelled woke EU immigrant, enjoying having grown ups in charge now. Tired of explaining to Brexiters that “caring about others” isn’t a a bad thing.

Marlowe

@Marlowe_UK
OpsoFacto's profile picture. I value free speech; nevertheless, discretion is the better part of vitriol. AI/acc and QI/acc. Physics curious.

Opso Facto

@OpsoFacto
jpfermer's profile picture. Ex fully-clothed civil servant. HWTL.

Jon McKinley 💚🇪🇺🇬🇧🇭🇰🇮🇪

@jpfermer
DavidBrownlie5's profile picture. Barber, Music Producer, Musician, Socialist, Discord - https://t.co/9YEBrqIo2o YouTube - https://t.co/4t4zvyDkBU

DavieBee (Dave the Producer)

@DavidBrownlie5
rosie_2806's profile picture. fan of the mersey men in red.

Sam

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barry_mason's profile picture. Please don’t follow me - thanks.

Barry Mason

@barry_mason
SteveWhitt40555's profile picture. Armchair flaneur and gastronomic gypsy, currently in solar orbit. Contains major and minor elements: contents may settle during transport. Expect expletives.

Roy Orbital

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DonkD119's profile picture.

DD

@DonkD119
paulprosseda's profile picture. I’m fabulous. I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of money, I’m a hoot-and-a-half and I’ve got a killer rack.

paulpro🥥🌴

@paulprosseda
daya_luxx's profile picture. free 🇵🇸 !! he/him #LUXXNATION #JANESPASSENGER #KINGDOM #JAREAMER #TEAMDARLENE

helicopter helena #TEAMDARLENE

@daya_luxx
njc99's profile picture. Curious about science. Horrified about Brexit. RT's are not necessarily endorsement. Views are my own. No DMs.

DoubleHelixGirl 🇪🇺🌻

@njc99
vecchio_uomo's profile picture. Lover of all things Italian, rum, football, tattoos, some politics and dark comedy. Typo aficionado, frequently fallling foul of autocorrect.

G il Vecchio Uomo

@vecchio_uomo
Socket1Sophie's profile picture. Southampton dwelling northern monkey. Political commentator who runs on Greggs, vodka and gravy. Language: foul. Occasional satire.

💙 Sophie Socket ♠️

@Socket1Sophie
MarrowLord2's profile picture. Meh, adequate. Knavish Proclivities and Boisterous Intent “I’ve got a reputation of being a man with a gift of words…a romantic poetic type, or so they say”

ˡⁱᵒⁿᵉˡ ⁿᵘᵗᵐᵉᵍ ²

@MarrowLord2
rigormortis46's profile picture. Poet, poor & ancient he/him

EdAPoe. 🇺🇦

@rigormortis46
tinytwink's profile picture. I'm sarcastic and Northern.

Twinks

@tinytwink
hunstantonsmith's profile picture. Not vicious or malicious, just de-lovely and delicious, the very much worse half of @kaffsmiffy ; “a dressmaking disco mate”…

Hun-Santa-Smith

@hunstantonsmith
DaveJWoodward's profile picture. Living the dream retirement in Spain. Brexit is a disaster! Pro European! Northampton Saints Rugby! #FBPE

David Woodward 🏉😇🎤🇪🇺🇬🇧🇪🇸🇺🇦

@DaveJWoodward
Cecelia62167155's profile picture. Champagne is always the answer #FuckTheTories Back up account to @cernusson - cos you just never know what twats are out there fecking up our lives!!

CeceliaInFrance

@Cecelia62167155
EuropeanUnity1's profile picture. Lefty dogooder liberal elite tofu-eating wokerati snowflake remoaner anti-growth coalition blob-Apparently 1 of 50 million Britons who did not vote for brexit

European Unity #FBPE #RejoinEU🇪🇺🇺🇦🇨🇦#NAFO

@EuropeanUnity1
Kellboy1's profile picture. Likeable chap, Anti Brexit, Labour Party, Progressive Alliance. Aston Villa, Brummie, Irish descent and proud, I used to be a contender.#FBPE

Sir JK #FBPE🇮🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧

@Kellboy1
Leslieoo7's profile picture. Ugh.

Leslieoo7 🇺🇲 🇺🇦

@Leslieoo7
ColinGribble's profile picture. #FBPE #FBPPR #GTTO. Ex-firefighter, lecturer, author & ponderer. Wondering why many of the electorate continually accept lies? @gribbsey.bsky.social

Colin Gribble

@ColinGribble
DomManate's profile picture. Not anti semitic, not fascist, not communist, not a hater, not a mansplaner I have not been given financial inducements for my views, why not?

Dom Manate

@DomManate
Stay0ut0fG0tham's profile picture. Stay out of Gotham... I’m Chiitan’s number 1 fan btw…

Vengeance...

@Stay0ut0fG0tham
LukeGreaves18's profile picture. GOLD AND BLACK

Greaves

@LukeGreaves18
MailysObdiVT's profile picture. Wrestling enthusiast, fighting game enjoyer, and absolute goober. I should probably tweet more often...

MailysObdi

@MailysObdiVT
madboutdat223's profile picture. dj khaled dünne zeitstrahl coded

YoungAstral Never Stiff Again✡️🕎🕍🇮🇱

@madboutdat223
zatchwilson's profile picture.

zach

@zatchwilson
ThePB77's profile picture. The number 3 giulia twitter stan (he/any) 🏳️‍🌈 Unknowing degeneracy is still degeneracy sports: 🦅 😈 ⚜ 🏎

PB77

@ThePB77
ryannnnnnn100's profile picture.

Ryan

@ryannnnnnn100
Razonn_'s profile picture. 🚣🏾

Norbz

@Razonn_
pel24s's profile picture. 🧌🧌🧌 🧌 🧌

…

@pel24s
katolmao_'s profile picture.

🕷️

@katolmao_
chippycss's profile picture. Слава Україні! 🇺🇦

chippycss

@chippycss
lucylouisewood's profile picture. rubber dingy rapids

locket

@lucylouisewood
bignyagz's profile picture. “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create” - #Masshouse4Life

KARAGITA™️

@bignyagz
33gloss's profile picture. kun faya kun

hosbon†

@33gloss
laura014_'s profile picture. del revés

Laura

@laura014_

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