ParentProverbs's profile picture. Shit your folks say but should really have kept in their heads. Courtesy of Derek and Marjory, my mum and dad.

Proverbs of Parents ™

@ParentProverbs

Shit your folks say but should really have kept in their heads. Courtesy of Derek and Marjory, my mum and dad.

Mum: everything’s £21! Apart from the perms and balayages which are four times the price. So, everything’s a multiple of £21, actually. #Maths

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Mum: everything’s £21! Apart from the perms and balayages which are four times the price. So, everything’s a multiple of £21, actually. #Maths

Dad: New shop coming soon. For women with two absolutely identical tits. @rigbyandpeller

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: New shop coming soon. For women with two absolutely identical tits. @rigbyandpeller

Dad: Come now @Wendys, your burger wasn’t that bad

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: Come now @Wendys, your burger wasn’t that bad

Dad: I’m gonna say Jewish boys, when they reach 8 days old? 🤭 @Ryanair

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: I’m gonna say Jewish boys, when they reach 8 days old? 🤭 @Ryanair

Dad: Rhetoric and reality never seem to be in the same room as each other these days. All this nonsense about London being too dangerous. Tosh!


Dad: interracial relationship problems. 😆 😆

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: interracial relationship problems. 😆 😆

Mum: What berries are brown, for heaven’s sake? What a stupid phrase. #suntan #brownasalog


Dad: actual live footage of Brexit 😆 😆 😆

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: actual live footage of Brexit 😆 😆 😆

Mum: Derek I have dry patches on my toast. That’s no way to butter up, and well you know it! State of your breakfast preparation.


Dad: If tea didn’t start off so damn hot I’d like it more #tea


Mum: I’m not one to laugh at misfortune. But the tourist I just saw walk straight into the lift and out the open door opposite at Russell Square has me in creases 😹 😹


Dad: @ManchesterEven bwahaha, muppets. Police are talking about a crime scene, not a fucking panto production.

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: @ManchesterEven bwahaha, muppets. Police are talking about a crime scene, not a fucking panto production.

Dad: With guest WHO? Not what I would have expected of John-Boy #TheWaltons

ParentProverbs's tweet image. Dad: With guest WHO? Not what I would have expected of John-Boy #TheWaltons

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