Phil MacCracken
@PhilMacCracken
I'm not fat. I'm just big dicked.
You might like
As a nation, let's call a spade a spade and make it official by changing the symbol from a bald eagle to Type 2 Diabetes.
You're not truly living unless you need to keep spare underwear in your pocket.
There's just something sexy about the way my gynecologist says, "You need a PROCK-TAH-LOW-JIST... put those forceps down... GET OUT! NURSE!"
Tie Me Up Time Me Down is a great first date movie.
I went to band camp when I was in high school and I never got laid.
I have an online dating profile that even my wife is interested in.
Remember when Judas Priest backwards was exciting?
If you are female, please stop talking about "Love Actually" this time of year.
This bathroom attendant means this restaurant is really upscale or there's a pervy guy that won't quit talking to me while I shit.
"Speed dating sounds like fun." - no one ever
Yes, Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned but that was only because Facebook wasn't invented yet.
I've never understood the term "braining someone" as it refers to hitting them in the head. Wouldn't be "de-braining someone"?
Getting caught masturbating is my worst nightmare.
Deaf people without a speech impediment aren't fooling anyone.
United States Trends
- 1. #FanCashDropPromotion 1,267 posts
- 2. Good Friday 54.4K posts
- 3. #FridayVibes 4,383 posts
- 4. Talus Labs 25.5K posts
- 5. #PETITCOUSSIN 12.8K posts
- 6. Publix 1,703 posts
- 7. #HONGJOONG_FASHION_SHOW 2,800 posts
- 8. #FridayFeeling 2,663 posts
- 9. Elise 9,503 posts
- 10. Happy Friyay 1,236 posts
- 11. RED Friday 3,918 posts
- 12. Tammy Faye 3,211 posts
- 13. Finally Friday 4,257 posts
- 14. Sydney Sweeney 103K posts
- 15. Kehlani 17.1K posts
- 16. John Wayne 1,624 posts
- 17. Blockchain 200K posts
- 18. Hochul 13.8K posts
- 19. Piggly Wiggly N/A
- 20. Out The Window 11.8K posts
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.