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Not a conspiracy theorist but I’m pretty sure Israel gave me scabies
U can tell someone is 28 because there will be no more light in their eyes
Something a lot of men don't like to admit: All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women. Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're a coincidental positive externality to the prime objective: To keep the…
She mad I cracked a joke… Bae.. u let a joke Crack..
Imagine being in jail with the Venezuelan president, Luigi Mangione, and sixnine all at once
Klarna just repossessed my five guys bacon cheeseburger I financed
“yeah it was good thanks. quiet one. feels good to get back to some normality if im honest haha”
You're in her DMs, she just cast a spell on me to die
"Good goy." - literally a Rothschild
dudes be 27 saying “what’s the move tonight” bro go buy property in venezuela
"people you may know" and it's someone i would set on fire
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