Ashley Cole (not)
@RealAC3
AS Roma & England Left Back. Official parody account and not affiliated with Ashley Cole. #BestLeftBackInTheWorld
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Jose told me that Real only turned their attentions to @GarethBale22, cos he rejected a bid £95m for me. #NotForSale #TransferDeadlineDay
A packed stadium here to see Mr 100 caps. I hear there’ll be a guard of honour at full time. #WhatALegend #Mr100Caps
Did anyone see Oscar in that half? No, me neither. He was firmly tucked in my back pocket! #EnglandvBrazil
The coin thrown at Rio was actually a euro. Guess Man City fans will no longer be needing those this season! #euroflops
Captain Rooney’s just burst into the changing room with one sheet of Bounty. Problem solved! #England #LetItRain
Assou-Ekotto: ‘I play for the money.’ < sounds like we’ve more in common than I thought. But still no match for the #BestLeftBackInTheWorld.
Hope I don’t have to room share with Lennon again. Last time I did, he was up most of the night watching reruns of Emmerdale. #CountryBoy
Might come on in the 2nd half so the San Marino lads get to play against a legend. It’ll give them something to tell their grandchildren.
Gave Joe Hart my self assessment tax return to fill out, so he has something to do in the second half. #England
The FA promptly accepted my apology after I threatened to send JT round to see Mrs. Bernstein whilst David was at work. #TrueStory
Saw this banner hanging whilst driving to training. And after I bullshitted in court for him too… fucking JT!
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