Happy to be Here
@RogerFish16
Copywriter. Above average bowler. http://www.rogerfish.com
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Even when they’re winning this play calling is hard to watch @Browns
when you take a picture with someone you haven’t seen in a while, you don’t HAVE to capture it with “reunited and it feels so good.” we know.
there’s a chaaaaaaance that those modelo commercials take ordering a hotdog too seriously.
“Listen carefully as our menu options have changed.” No one memorized your old menu options.
i heard someone say "stabbing themselves in the foot" back in my day it was "shooting yourself in the foot" we more hardcore when it came to foot pain.
Just heard a guy on my flight tell the person next to him “have fun in Arkansas” but you could tell in his voice, he didn’t think it was possible.
today at trader joes, i picked up a thing of tomatoes, said to myself "these are probably not very good". then put them in my cart.
I love summertime! Also known as weird far fetched game shows hosted by B list celebrities on ABC season!
enough with the long threads. If people loved reading so much boarders would still be in business.
when rebooting my computer i prefer logging off or restarting. shutting down or quitting feel too intense/finite.
everyone's got an agenda! not in like some seedy mindgame way. i mean people are literally always sending me agendas.
i would love to be the writer for this twitter handle.
you guys hear whoopi goldberg is leaving the view?! april fools!! admit it, i had you.
i like eating protein bars but i dont like throwing away the wrappers. idk if this is a shark tank thing or what. but lets get this problem cracked asap. thank you and good night.
they should do an undercover boss for like a really small roofing company — where the boss's cover is figured out in like 5 minutes. "Tim, why are you wearing that stupid costume?"
i love when brands tell me that this brand is not my grandfathers brand. bc sometimes i'm about to eat yogurt and i'm like, "is this my grandfather's yogurt?"
i'm the biggest procrastinator. don't believe me? i started this tweet 5 years ago.
United States Trends
- 1. Giannis N/A
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- 4. Gigi N/A
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- 7. #DragRace N/A
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