The SSC Report ⚾️
@SSCReport
Official parody home for the best analysis and your source for news, information, and roasts of @D2SSC baseball.
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The Pathetic Panthers are back in action, folks
Final from Melbourne. Noah Burke, Tate Hansen, and Marshall Burke each totaled two hits in the contest. Back at it again tomorrow at Noon. #GoPanthers
Tars Punch Their Ticket to Cary for Second Straight Season rollinssports.com/news/2023/5/27…
South regional was a de-facto World Series yet again. Congrats to @MocsBaseball and @UT_Baseball on great seasons. Shout out to @Utbaseball7, @elniekro, and the seniors.
Nothing says “we truly care about the student-athlete experience” more than being eliminated at 10:30 pm, and the NCAA requiring us to jump on a bus at 1:30 am for a 3 hour drive to Atlanta to catch an 8:30 am flight home.
Nothing like being able to hit the beach on day one of regionals. Enjoy the vacation, nerds. #TheReport
High quality tweet. DM if interested in a summer internship with #TheReport
And This years recipient of The Almost did as good as Joe Urso award goes to….!!
Correction: 7 @ahmad_fitts and @BradyDoorey were named All-SSC Last team and Pathetic Freshman of the Year, respectively.
Congrats to five @MocsBaseball players named to the All-@D2SSC Teams! Riley, Cavanaugh, and Safferwich were named to First Team. Berry earned Second Team honors, and Donofrio and Cavanaugh were named to the Defensive Team! #LetsGoMocs 📰: bit.ly/3BxBcYy
Presenting the 2023 SSC Baseball Report Awards! Last Team All-Conference Pathetic Player of the Year Pathetic Pitcher of the Year Pathetic Freshman of the Year Pathetic Coach of the Year #TheReport 🌴☀️🌊⚾️
🏆SSC Pathetic Player of the Year🏆 Gunnar Womer @EckerdBaseball Known around the SSC as Worthless Womer, the prototypical Triton hit a paltry .118 on the year. A true 0-tool player, he also chipped in 0 HR or stolen bases—while making as many errors as runs scored. #TheReport
🏆SSC Pathetic Pitcher of the Year🏆 Mitch Harding @FloridaTechBB Despite pitching in the biggest graveyard in the country, this scrub got lit up all year long for an SSC-worst 6.50 era over 15 starts. The Panther program continues to look bleak under Coach Tam. #TheReport
Worst GIF game in the SSC #Yikes
Love some two-out hitting! Kelly lofts one into center that brings in two and the Panthers now lead 6-4! 📺 bit.ly/3M4aknN 💻 bit.ly/3ptCcKe #GoPanthers
13 seasons in the 📖 Every one has been it’s own story, 2023 no different. Couple games here or there and the last two Eagle teams could have made a regional. COVID hurt, no doubt, but winning programs eventually win, and ultimately that’s what this program is. Onward.
🏆SSC Pathetic Player of the Week🏆 Danny Gutcher @UT_Baseball In the midst of a 1-19 slump at the dish, @DannyGutcher clearly isn’t fully cleansed of the suck that was instilled in him during his time at Eckturd. As they say-once a Triton, always a Triton. #TheReport
Congratulations to Tampa baseball on winning a third consecutive SSC Regular Season Trophy! The Spartans now own 22 conference championships, including 8 of the last 10 titles. 🌴☀️🌊🧢⚾️
🏆SSC Pathetic Players of the Week🏆 Bullpen @MocsBaseball The miserable Mocs bullpen posted a 17.79 ERA on their way to getting swept again in SSC play. @elniekro has worked his magic yet again, as FSC’s national title drought is poised to reach its 18th year. #TheReport
🏆SSC Pathetic Player of the Week🏆 Dre Llopiz @SailfishBB Huge surprise. Another fucking PBA Sailfish claims the weekly award for sucking ass. La Vaca went 0-12 on the week and has been an invaluable contributor to PBA’s 6th straight season below .500 in SSC play. #TheReport
Wonder how @UT_Baseball manages to recruit so well year after year. Meanwhile, sources are telling us this is an inside look at the average female at @FloridaTech. #TheReport
Congratulations to Dani Waters on being the SSC Defensive Player of the Week ‼️ #TampaWLax #StandAsOne🛡️
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