SWF
@SWFseeks
SWF SEEKS A MOTHERFUCKING CHAMPION home of: #dudereallysaidthat #wherehaveallthecowboysgone #heydude #slutnorm #fucktales &c&c PM me yer single female bullshit
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I have a normal Twitter account and a whore Twitter account. Guess which one this is
Re: My Snoring: "I hit you in the face with a pillow. You said 'I'm sorry.' That's right, bitch." #dudereallysaidthat
There's a black fly in my Chardonnay but I'm gonna pick that shit out and drink
If you are a tall hot man in Mariano's right now and you feel like someone is watching you...it's me. Hi. Let's make out. #slutnorm
I'm now following the cast of #GeneralHospital on Instagram. Good night. #marryme
Also I'm chugging pizza and beer in bed. #singlelife #SWF #wherebabiescomefrom
Can't sleep. Currently watching video clips of the actor who will replace the actor who plays my favorite character on #GeneralHospital
Men of the world/men on this bus get your fucking scent in check. Why in the ever loving shit are you still using #axebodyspray
In honor of #nationalgirlfriendday I'm gonna masturbate & cry l8r. JKJK I only cry during sex w/another person. #singlelife #SingleBecause
Today is NATIONAL GIRLFRIEND DAY. That's a holiday you suck dick 364 days in preparation for. #singlelife #singlebecause
My #therapist is out of town & I'm considering tracking that bitch down & dragging her home just so we can talk abt how terrible I am/feel
Being sick makes me want to go on reality TV to find a husband just so I don't have to administer my own medicine.
Fucking/dating your ex is cool for like a second. It's called short term memory loss. #wherehaveallthecowboysgone
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