SarahMorrison's profile picture. never tweet

Sarah Morrison

@SarahMorrison

never tweet

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In case of Twitter's demise, pls subscribe to my substack which I swear I will update eventually.  sarahmorrison.substack.com


The less I breastfeed the more terrible I feel. Fuck this. I'm gonna pump til menopause.


Fast forwarding thru the non Erika parts.


I don't know how comfortable I am with a company named Gilead being in charge of saving us.


Any new moms in LA want to hangout and talk about the minutiae of new motherhood?


Kenya's Having a Baby would have been way better TV.


One more sketchy/conflicting announcement about why my flight at @BostonLogan airport is delayed and I'm taking an uber to Canada before I get Handmaid's Taled.


My mom's cat is SO into tonight's #RHONY

SarahMorrison's tweet image. My mom's cat is SO into tonight's #RHONY
SarahMorrison's tweet image. My mom's cat is SO into tonight's #RHONY
SarahMorrison's tweet image. My mom's cat is SO into tonight's #RHONY
SarahMorrison's tweet image. My mom's cat is SO into tonight's #RHONY

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO OPRAH


I feel so not my president about Timberlake. #FREEJANET


I've been suffering from severe Union Pool flashbacks all day. @NYMag


We are almost at that part in Idiocracy where everyone almost starves because President Camacho told them to water the plants with Gatorade. @BarackObama


My own personal Black Mirror episode is just me trying to never tweet because every time I do I lose a point at life.


"OH NO NO DON'T TOUCH THE DVD PLAYER. MACAULAY CULKIN'S HERE. HE CAN ACT IT OUT...COME ON MACAULAY. ACT OUT HOME ALONE FOR MY GUESTS."


Everyone mailing DNA to weird companies is gonna end up on the USS Callister in Black Mirror, wishing they just believed their grandparents.


I'm never using more than 140 characters.


140 characters was my favorite game. 280 is like playing Monopoly without the fake money.


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