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“would u date someone with an onlyfans?” uhhhh would someone with an onlyfans date you? lmao
the three branches of government
If I have a medical emergency don’t U DARE call an ambulance y’all better uber my ass to the hospital bc we not about to pay 5,000 for a ride in the wee-yoo wagon
Snapchat: “opened 47 minutes ago” Me:
going home w the boy u promised ur friends u wouldn’t go home with again
all I want for Christmas is for Georgia to beat Alabama
I hate when people say “every time I see u ur always drunk” like ? Yes ? U see me when we’re at the bar. Drinking. Catch me between 9 AM - 7 PM and I won’t be drunk. Unless I’m catching a day fade. Then I might be drunk at an absurd early time of the day but whatever just fuck u
*after drinking heavily with some of your closest friends* my brain: don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it me: “I just fucking love y’all so much”
woke up with a sore mustache, notice small insect bite by side of mustache, next day red splotch face, am i now a spider man? still cant web
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United States Trends
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