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"Done a poo which was so long, when it broke off it fell forward and brushed my ballbag"
Some words of wisdom. Don't shit where you eat; shit where you shit.
Been holding these farts in all day but I think they're now starting to leak out through my skin. #Perfect
Just had a wee, shook it off and a bit splashed on my forehead. #StressfulDay
"Don't do it! I did that last week. The first few came out fine but then I forced that last one and a nightmare ensued!"
Simonsbowel sounds a lot like @SimonCowell. Phonetically, yes but also because it's completely full of shit and hot air!
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