Simonsbowels's profile picture. Simons bowel distress

Simonsbowel

@Simonsbowels

Simons bowel distress

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Jacket pootato if you're asking!


Double wetherspoons in one day, gonna feel that later!


I smell bowel play


Made myself have a poo earlier so no worries guys


Nice and solid, followed by a light spatter.


"Done a poo which was so long, when it broke off it fell forward and brushed my ballbag"


Simonsbowel reposted

@JessiesGhost also plz RT buds

NeilTheSoleMan's tweet image. @JessiesGhost also plz RT buds

Some words of wisdom. Don't shit where you eat; shit where you shit.


Total eclipse of the Shart


Shitting on the dock of the bay


Scratch that. Was just a fart.


About to drop an absolute steamer. Details to follow!


Call me Jeff Goldblum because that was a Jurassic Shart


Been holding these farts in all day but I think they're now starting to leak out through my skin. #Perfect


Just had a wee, shook it off and a bit splashed on my forehead. #StressfulDay


"Don't do it! I did that last week. The first few came out fine but then I forced that last one and a nightmare ensued!"


stool me once, shame on poo


Simonsbowel sounds a lot like @SimonCowell. Phonetically, yes but also because it's completely full of shit and hot air!


Fortunately I was already in the shower!


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