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I've been trying to setup an OnlyFans account where I just read bed time, ghost, horror and folk stories with my English accent. The account verification process is fucking ridiculous, I've been rejected 8 times so far
Left Twitter for about five years and I still have 52 followers...Are you guys really real people or just bots?
The day I get told I'm being promoted I get call asking to schedule the third part of an interview process for a job I applied 2 months ago
Helping arrange a surprise birthday party is great and shit. I love that we're doing this but I know that no one will ever do this for me
Drive an hour to see my other partner in order for them to break up with me. Brilliant
Took a two hour lunch accidentally and it appears nobody noticed
And just like that, I'm going to see PJ Harvey for free tonight!
Coworkers at the coffee machine discussing effects acid in the coffee has on the taste. Losers got bunk shit, acid doesn't have a taste.
Fuck all at work to do today, but I have to look busy. Here's to 8 hours of staring blankly at a monitor and sometimes clicking.
Work is done an hour early, now to go home and wait for a four hour time slot for a new fridge to arrive! Fuck I'm exciting
I like helping people but sometimes I end up ruining their lives in the process.
They'll know I won the office prank war when they realize their brakes aren't working on the way home.
It's great how my Facebook phone app now autoplays videos I scroll past at really high volume. No one at work knows when I'm on Facebook now
Queens of the Stone Age are playing DC, the album releasing on my birthday. I guarantee they'll be sold out before I can afford a ticket.
United States Trends
- 1. #SmackDown N/A
- 2. #DragRace N/A
- 3. UConn N/A
- 4. #TheLastDriveIn N/A
- 5. Olympics N/A
- 6. St. John N/A
- 7. Kit Wilson N/A
- 8. #OPLive N/A
- 9. Pistons N/A
- 10. Celtics N/A
- 11. #MutantFam N/A
- 12. Obamas N/A
- 13. Brunson N/A
- 14. Jordynne N/A
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- 16. Mariah Carey N/A
- 17. Lion King N/A
- 18. Giulia N/A
- 19. $BULLISH N/A
- 20. Silas Demary N/A
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