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Maybe she’s born with it maybe it’s narcissism. -Charlotte Roos
Phil Collins should be an honorary Disney princess after doing both Tarzan and Brother Bear, two of Disney’s best!
You know .... investing in bitcoin changed my life... I no longer believe in bitcoin
"How do I slide right into impotence?"-Me "You don't"- @charlottemoose
“Abused women are the canary in the coal mine for mass shootings.” @FullFrontalSamB #GunSense
After an hour outside in an ally two brilliant cops confirmed what I always suspected, that my ID was in fact real.
I haven't tweeted in a while but I've learned people with shit to do probably can't tweet anyway. So good for me?
When ur friends with someone who gives parking tickets and they right you a sweet note that filled you with dread when you first saw it
I'd tweet more but every funny thought I have I say out loud and then forget. Just another thing ruined by bad memory and no impulse control
When you change out of your PJ into slightly more comfortable PJ's #Sundays
So twitter is basically writing down high thoughts, but stone cold sober.
I'm starting to tweet again against my better judgement so I can get a job a buzzfeed. Buzzfeed if you've gotten this far, see my sacrifice.
Dammit college by giving me the freedom to sleep all day you make it impossible to sleep at night ...
Swimming in a fountain ... That's why happens when they close the pool
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