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These bitches keep tweeting "Nobody's perfect" yet here I am....
@Stringem visiting Gutville tonight. women put your tightest pants on, nay wear a chastity belt, nay just don't go out. He will get in#tiger
Fat Bitches send you one nude & that shit be like "Pages 1 of 6".
People that text back instantly. I like that shit
Alcohol goes in, Truth comes out
Roses are red, and sometimes thorny. When I think of you, it makes me horny.
Interesting fact: You're a slut and the world hates you.
If I delete your number... You're basically deleted from my life. ✋✋
When people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I say to them, "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"
Relationships are harder now because conversations becomes texting, argument becomes phone calls, and feelings become statuses and tweets.
Tuck into a taste adventure with our Double-Crammed-Crust pizza! RT for an unexpected adventure of your own! youtu.be/5phASrfLPpw
If your legs open up faster than Google’s homepage. You are not girlfriend material.
what's that thing called when your crush likes you back? oh yeah imagination
If you get drunk and don't regret anything the next day, then something is wrong with the way you drink.
Dance like nobody's watching. But masturbate like everyone is.
I'll stop being sarcastic when you stop being a stupid fuck.
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