TPOFguide's profile picture. My sincerest thanks go to no one, because I don’t like people.

The Power of Failure: A Guide to Self-Destruction

@TPOFguide

My sincerest thanks go to no one, because I don’t like people.

It was a snowy summer's morning. My afro crew cut was getting in my eyes. I had blisters on my feet from oversleeping. Cedric had gone off to buy this month's edition of Lads babes and horses.


If you like this tweet I will be offended.


Nothing to see here. Move along and continue with your suffering.


Applaud the health professionals who can't treat this virus and can't help you, but will let you have a bed if you are about to die.


Stay at hands, wash your home, under no circumstances leave the house unless you decide to, wear a mask but only sometimes if you can't avoid it, if you are on the rigs stay at work but don't work and don't go home.


"Find something you're not good at, and then don't do it." - ALF


The only effective method I have found for dealing with the current Human situation is to mutter under one's breath most of the day, and burst into tears at odd moments. If you have any better ideas, let me know.


Happy Crucifixion, suffering and death day, everyone. Eat those fucking chocolate bunnies.


Know the difference between success and failure. Real success is to no longer fear death, and instead welcome it. Real success is failure.


Retweet me to get a free copy of my book (whenever it gets released).


Condoms are the answer to most of the World's problems.


I hope you are having an uncomfortable day.


Meditate to induce rage at your lack of spirituality.


Stay patient; eventually that disaster WILL happen.


You are here to let the divine purpose of man unfold through bitching and moaning - that is how important you are.


Luckily, disappointment is an inevitable part of the life process, and so is always available to you no matter how positive outer circumstances may seem.


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