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TechCrunch Onion

@TechCrunchOnion

Silicon Valley's Finest News Source.

Area Hockey Stick Tired Of Being Associated With “Bullshit Vanity Metrics"

TechCrunchOnion's tweet image. Area Hockey Stick Tired Of Being Associated With “Bullshit Vanity Metrics"

With no CEO or COO, Uber Is Closer Than Ever To Becoming A Self-Driving Company


BREAKING: Youtube Acquires Yahoo To Improve Search


Meet the Controversial Silicon Valley CEO Who "Prefers Customer Dollars to VC Dollars"


Leaked Marketing Presentation Reveals A Truth We All Knew: “There’s no secret to growth hacking. Just spam like crazy."


Company Tweet Still Waiting For First Like From Non-Employee


Peter Thiel donates an entire season-long story arc to HBO's "Silicon Valley"


Virtual Reality Industry Already Being Disrupted by Mixed Reality Industry, Which Can Project Fake Revenue into the Real World


Area VC Jealous Of How Fast Super Bowl Commercials Can Throw Money Away


Santa Claus Replaced By Self-Driving Sleigh


Star Trek Fan Accidentally Accepts Job Writing "Enterprise Software"


Foursquare Announces That It Still Exists


Average Stripe Employee Will Hit Drinking Age in 2015.


Startup Founder Devastated To Learn That Users Are Not Rational


Apple Proud to Announce New Version of iTunes Is Hardest To Close Yet


Q: How long does it take to get from San Francisco to Oakland? A: Depends if you have rent control


Google Covers Buses in Fur, Sends 8,100 Employees To Burning Man


BREAKING: "Growth Hacking" now means same thing as "Marketing"


Evernote hits major milestone of 100 million syncronization conflicts


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