Nicholas Bispen
@TechNicholas
All the latest gadget and gizmo news that you WON'T find anywhere else!
قد يعجبك
My new column, available on The Internet RT @thedailymash: TECH TALK Gizmo news and reviews with Nicholas Bispen http://bit.ly/coQWEF
Tea 2.0 due to launch late 2010. Switch on bottom of mug will transform it into chewable substance to be enjoyed on the hoof.
Great to see Olen’s new theft-proof e-reader. When touched by an unregistered hand it takes flight & buries itself in the anus of the thief.
Firmware upgrade due on GPE’s Nixina phone. Skewed magnetic levels blamed for owners’ lips peeling off during 20+ min calls.
Rottingham are rushing out the AS45 handset after users of the AS44 complained of snake urine leaking out of it when used at altitude.
Grapnika announce new SST device, this time without cumbersome dustbin attachment of previous models. Dustbin add-on optional with this one
Major announcement coming from Chong later on. I'm betting it's either a re-duddified version of the Camel X-7 or a new VGF for the Spazzmo
Tip: get better performance from your Heng Otter by covering it in treacle. Give it an hour or two to set and you'll notice the difference.
Earlier competition cancelled. They were just actual tampons. Apols.
Nick @ Kinsey just pinged me. There's been a spaff attack on the bimlets. Sit tight for a patch & then you can recrip your payload.
Anyone else struggling with their Kinsey Wordl today? Can't re-access saved bimlets without bogging it at the wrong end. New soil problem?
Coming by 2014 - old fashioned keys to be replaced by new entry devices that look, feel and taste exactly like a pubic hair.
Competition: @TechNicholas has got five tampon-shaped 16GB USB sticks to give away. RT this to enter.
Cormoreant's new FaceTablet can't fail. Translucent and worn an inch in front of the face, it is controlled by tongues.
Teimeka are having a press conference to announce their new handheld. But they're having at 4am as there is nothing to actually announce.
Well I can confirm that the antidote pack that comes bundled with the Hamhamaha d6000 works! Breathing normally again.
Ah, I switched it on in 'undertow' mode. Face now covered in thick black oil.
Testing the new Hamhamaha d6000 tonight. Very excited. There's a new delph-gratering option that should make the end-smelt more enjoyable.
New sat nav from Erectima delayed over software glitch that makes it shout obscenities in a Jamaican accent when destination is reached.
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