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Launching my write-in campaign now. I guarantee I will get more votes than Bobby Jindal. #ImVotingBecause #FeelTheTed #TedTheVoteOrDie
Opinions are like assholes: I get paid to put mine on the internet.
The three worst presidential candidates in modern American history are Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Hillary Clinton in 2008.
One cannot prove anything, but one can point out a great deal.
Let your life be a counter-friction to stop the machine.
New Ted Hash-Berryman Feature! The Ballad of The Lost Leaf--A shocking literary discovery: wp.me/p3e3h4-Dl
911 hung up on me because they said "caught in a Catch-22" is not an emergency. Just please help, my foot is literally trapped under a book.
Say what you want about Trump University, but their MFA program is top tier.
The trick is to live in the presence of the mystery, not as a problem to be solved, but as a force for personal transformation.
Dance like no one is watching. And since nobody's looking, you might as well steal some stuff.
Once bitten, twice is how many times you should get vaccinated. That flying squirrel definitely had rabies.
Decondition yourself to the notion of ego and all of the concepts that constellate around it.
Making fun of Donald Trump is so easy, even Hillary Clinton could do it.
United States Trends
- 1. Seahawks N/A
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- 3. Stafford N/A
- 4. Woolen N/A
- 5. Vikings N/A
- 6. McVay N/A
- 7. Pats N/A
- 8. Puka N/A
- 9. Drake Maye N/A
- 10. #NFCChampionship N/A
- 11. #RHOP N/A
- 12. #LARvsSEA N/A
- 13. Xavier Smith N/A
- 14. Cooper Kupp N/A
- 15. Mike Macdonald N/A
- 16. Tom Brady N/A
- 17. #NFLPlayoffs N/A
- 18. Broncos N/A
- 19. Demarcus Lawrence N/A
- 20. Kenneth Walker N/A
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