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(910): The VS fashion show is tonight and I just ate an entire pizza. I think we all know who the real winner is here
(828): He thinks he's coming over for sex but really it's for warmth
(919): Maybe we shouldn't have given the cat so much of the nip...
(336): You gave a whole speech on how much you wanted to bang him. It was inspiring
(910): It's like he keeps dating ugly versions of Taylor Swift
(828): is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle?
(910): High as fuck and watching the cosmos. This shit is gold
(828): You know it's been too long when the heat off the pizza box on your lap turns you on
(910): Should've known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in a coffee mug
(704): I wake up every morning and wish I didn't have to wear a bra
(828): I tell myself every day that I shouldn't be friends with you
(919): Fuck classes. Fuck work. Fuck anything that doesn't involve sleeping, sex, or bacon
(704): I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number
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