That Bad Driver
@ThatBadDriver
Cellphone in one hand, burger in the other, steering with my knee.
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I'll just be talking on my phone riding the shoulder line for the next 5 miles with my blinker on.
What's this? A fender bender? I better slow down and look at it even though there's a long line of cars behind me.
I drive around with my seat nearly touching the back seat and can barely see over the steering wheel. Because, I'm awesome.
This delicious drive-thru burrito tastes alot like disappointment.
I know that everyone will appreciate that I have my blinker on, they'll be prepared for when I decide to turn.
It's so great that I can drive down the merge lane until it ends and it will seamlessly merge me into this traffic.
This chili is delicious, I'm so glad I have it in this 'to-go' bowl so I can drive while enjoying it!
The best part of me having my left leg resting on my side mirror as I drive is it stretches out my hammy nicely. Plus I look really cool.
Using the new GPS feature on my iPad works perfectly since I have it hanging from my rearview mirror.
It's safer to tailgate this person during this snowstorm so they're sure to see me behind them.
When there is inclement weather, it is completely acceptable not obey any traffic signals or rules of the road.
Driving home in the freezing rain, my windshield had a coat of ice on it and could barely see, so naturally I sped up to knock off the ice.
I think it's time for a fine Sunday drive on this Friday afternoon.
I always turn to the left a little bit before turning right just to make sure I clear the curb.
No need to scrape all of this snow off of my car. As soon as I start driving down the highway, it will all safely blow right off.
I keep my rear-view mirror positioned so I can see my face at all times, just in case I have a piece of food in my teeth.
It's an hour past dusk, my headlights will turn on by themselves any minute.
I'll just sit here and wait for that person walking from the doors of the store. Surely they're parked in this front spot and leaving.
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