TheBlessMess's profile picture. Pussyocalypse ⚡️ Transvaginal mesh enthusiast ⚡️ Smallpox champion

Slaydrienne

@TheBlessMess

Pussyocalypse ⚡️ Transvaginal mesh enthusiast ⚡️ Smallpox champion

Slaydrienne reposted

you guys wanna see a party trick? [overdoses in the bathroom]


Slaydrienne reposted

The only weapon that would stop Matthew McConaughey is a t-shirt gun.


@MarkForwardd that was the best April Wine show I've ever been to.


Slaydrienne reposted

Someone design a first person video game where you drive safely and never shoot anyone and get extra points for voting in a local election


Parents, don't forget to update your sex talk to include Netflix and chill.


Slaydrienne reposted

A YouTube star, a blogger, and an Instagram celebrity walk into a bar. Literally no one gives a shit.


Outlook meeting requests needs a “I’d rather swan dive off an overpass into oncoming traffic but I’ll be there” option.


Slaydrienne reposted

[Delicatessen] *a woman at another table chokes on her meal, and dies* Me: I'll have what she's having.


Slaydrienne reposted

Sext: I find you less gross than most other people hi


Slaydrienne reposted

How cool are you, on a scale of 1 to teacher sitting backwards on a chair?


Now that I'm older, I wish my friends would peer pressure me into saving for retirement.


Slaydrienne reposted

Sometimes I worry I've smoked so much weed, that I've forgotten something cool. Like knowing karate. I've Jason Bourned myself.


Slaydrienne reposted

Reworking my resume into emojis to remain relevant in today's competitive job market


Slaydrienne reposted

I accidentally touched my dog's butthole yesterday and it kinda feels like when I accidentally hit "accept" on an incoming phone call.


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