TheLexHarper's profile picture. I am a fictional character created by Stephen Leather but if you fuck with me I will track you down and kill you so don't say you haven't been warned.

Lex Harper

@TheLexHarper

I am a fictional character created by Stephen Leather but if you fuck with me I will track you down and kill you so don't say you haven't been warned.

Hs @glinner really gone? Who will take on the Nazis now? Who will get Ireland to changer its abortion laws? Who will reverse Brexit?


I would put money on this. Best thing to do is to ignore him. He's just upset because the BBC cancelled his show!


I'll bet good money that he'll be back. Without Twitter he has no audience, and he craves attention.

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Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on....


They lie in London, too!


Usually they arrive several days late. Sad but true.

@dhlexpressuk This is the current tracking status of my order. Does this mean it should arrive today? How late do deliveries arrive? Thanks

BellePalmer's tweet image. @dhlexpressuk This is the current tracking status of my order. Does this mean it should arrive today? How late do deliveries arrive? Thanks


Remember to stick together this time and you'll be fine! :-)

Update: We think we are now 40 miles from the South Pole. It has been a hard day pulling sledges over the sastrugi. All in in good spirits.



My tip for trading with China? Use @FedeX

Want to trade with China? Watch our Customs tips video: bit.ly/CN_Trade #ExportingisGREAT



Probably not. They never helped me!

@ammylouxx Hi, we are sorry to hear this. Can we help you on Twitter at all today? Many thanks



That's funny. :-)

is watching Discovery Channel. Apparently the Japanese have just bombed the American fleet at Pearl Harbour. Christ, this could get nasty



Never shoot a large calibre person with a small calibre gun. I won't make that mistake again.


Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon


Did you make that up? It's very funny....

is watching Discovery Channel. Apparently the Japanese have just bombed the American fleet at Pearl Harbour. Christ, this could get nasty



Lex Harper reposted

Syrian refugee fundraising effort hits £500k with help from @PhilipPullman, @CressidaCowell and @AnthonyHorowitz: bit.ly/1VIqMIY


Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!


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