Zach Hensler
@Themapleleaf
{A}x(Mx→{E}y(Yy^Dyx)) M = me; Y= you; D = does tonight
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"I don't no why you drink beer, it's bad for you" 'Oh really, why?' "Cause then you'll get drunk"
In the process of spiking the family's cider, everybody in da club gettin tipps
After the mimosas and Irish coffees gotta drive and do the whole house change. The alcohol will make interesting
Time for my annual Xmas drunk tweet fest. This year featuring a massive bourbon hangover. Lets hope mimosas will fix this.
Considering I've gained like 4 new followers, I should consider tweeting more Just know, the drunken Xmas texts are coming Prepare thy body
I'm looking forward to the day when I can open the newspaper and not see anything about a mass shooting.
@DinosThirdTwitt: In honor of Before Orel, I have spent the night drinking, cleaning my bathroom and marathoning the show. I'm not worthy.
There's enough caffeine in my system to kill a horse. #YOLO! (Sorry I couldn't resist. Blame the legal drugs)
Here's to five miserable months on the wagon. And the irreparable harm its caused me. #shining
“@TheeBuddha: Unfortunately, due to recent events, anyone named "Sandy" is karmically f*cked.”
I'm not holier than thou, but I am holier than you. - @DinosThirdTwitt
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