It seems I was indirectly managed. That's why I indirectly managed to screw everything up. I hope I can indirectly manage to get a new job.
Should I be happy or sad that they fired me because they found someone dumber to take my place?
Just interviewed for a meat packing job. I tried showing them how qualified I am, but they escorted me out and called the cops. What gives?
I'd get a job digging ditches... But people tell me that I can never get myself out of the holes I make.
Where's the beef? Seriously. Do you people have some beef with me? I know I'm not qualified. But they don't know that.
Being unemployed gives me more time to watch Sesame Street. I like how Big Bird talks slow enough for me to understand.
Someone finally brought me a dic...tionary. I didn't realize you are supposed to emphasize that first syllable so much. What's a syllable?
Looking for someone to hire and then fire a year later after you realize how dumb I am? I'm your guy. #20yearsofexperience
I owned the P&L for business development. But I only delivered on the "L".
I'm a speaker at industry conferences, seminars, webinars and other social media channels. That makes sense. What's a social media channel?
I'm able to identify, strategize & execute new business opportunities with highly technical products. Never done it but I'm sure I'm able to
People say I'm dumb but I looked it up and they're wrong. I can speak. Technically, I'm an "idiot". en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiot
And just where am I supposed to go now to give the ladies a creepy once-over??? (I bet they all really miss me today at the office...)
The shampoo budget is sacred. I will only cut that as a last resort.
I don't understand...why me? I showed up to work almost every day. I wandered aimlessly. I made females uncomfortable then I left at 3pm.
Maybe the circus will take me! The Bearded Lady of Geneva... Lionel the Lion-Faced Boy... AND Faken: The Brain Stem that can Speak.
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