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restaurants should bring back smoking sections but for jacking off, and if you don't like that idea yiou can just sit in the normal sections
what a nice corporate credit card...........sure would be a shame if someone....tipped adequately with it
My cousin Tay Tay vaped once at a party and she went on to steal hundreds of dollars in clothing from various stores we don't know if it's related but you can never be too careful
Back when I was a kid we were a lot younger than the kids today. The kids today are like 11,12. We were like 6 and 7 back then.
I was in a park and a lady loudly called out "Anyone who wants an ice cream come over here". I headed over with several others. She handed out ices to them all then asked me "Who are you?". I realised the rest were all her family. 30 years later I still cringe.
The owner of my AirBnB just told me to "help myself to anything in the kitchen" and there is a frozen turkey in the freezer and I can't think of anything funnier than cooking it
Her: remember Jimmy Neutron? Me: yeah, but I haven't seen it in years Her: what was the super hero the nerdy kid loved? Me: ultra lord, and his name was Sheen Her: yes, thank you. When's my birthday? Me: Her: when's my birthday Kyle Me: Me: happy b- Her: it was yesterday
THEY PLAYED THE WRONG SONG FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM I-
Well hello Lake Tahoe. In case you haven’t noticed... I am in you.
St Peter: ok the ghost busters just died, they did good so I let them into heaven, right? God: yes Jesus: sure Holy Ghost: absolutely not
Instead of dating apps, try chirping like crickets do to attract a mate. Seems to work for crickets. I say give it a shot.
just found out jack johnson is a real person and not just a term for any white guy who plays acoustic guitar
The Simpsons prediction things is getting so fucking eerie now. Like way back in 1995 they predicted that Maggie shot Mr Burns.
Ya know, if a country has so many people in prison that allowing them to vote could swing an election, maybe there are too many people in prison
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