Astrology Whiz
@Tomorroscope
Today's Horoscopes are Yesterday's News!
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You say we haven't been tweeting. We say we traveled into the future yesterday and actually didn't miss a day. One of us gets to be...
#FuckYouWashington, because it's 2011, and we STILL don't have flying cars. #YoureFired!
http://ow.ly/i/eaFq #MTR, (mountaintop removal mining) 14 minutes from my house in #Utah. No zoom. You're likely using its copper.
What do tiger, toilet, maché, and airplanes have in common?
What do you and a 2010 calendar have in common? You've both become obsolete. / Lucky rat: shithouse
We COULD'VE been "yesterdayscope" but we wanted...actually, that's a good idea.
If you keep trying to stare down the sun, I'm going to eat your ice cream.
Saturn is so light it'd float in a cup of tea. Drink that tea--its going to rock your world. Good. U know what else floats? 13 hits of LSD.
Pointless events tomorrow will be emblazoned needlessly in your mind, becoming an annoying 2nd nature. Like Pink Floyd's "The Wall."
You wont have a stomach for food tomorrow, and we mean literally. So eat up.
"Stop, drop, & roll" is no substitute for painting your entire body with flame retardant phosphazines. / Lucky out: inside-
Your Tomorroscope says that you have been capable of understanding paradoxes...until now.
Amaos unos a otros...Pero que haya espacios en su unión, Y dejad que los vientos del cielo dancen entre vosotros. Gibran
Diet week: Day 1: Vaseline & rosewater with whole peppercorns, eaten out of a hollowed-out Motorola wireless router. / Lucky xpletive: arse
Passed out in a gutter with no friends, but you still have Twitter. / Lucky farm: ant
We heard that the #LibraryofCongress is cataloging all tweets. So this advice is for any age: Buy land (Earth or Mars). / Lucky omnpo: 2.0.1
United States Trends
- 1. Good Thursday N/A
- 2. Happy Friday Eve N/A
- 3. #สนามอ่านเล่น2026xPerthSanta N/A
- 4. #ThursdayThoughts N/A
- 5. PERTHSANTA DOMIIA FAM FIN FUN N/A
- 6. #Bridgerton N/A
- 7. Fulton County N/A
- 8. Rybakina N/A
- 9. Benedict N/A
- 10. Sabalenka N/A
- 11. #PutThatInYourPipe N/A
- 12. Sophie N/A
- 13. Svitolina N/A
- 14. Mikey N/A
- 15. Tulsi N/A
- 16. USOR N/A
- 17. Forrest Gump N/A
- 18. S and X N/A
- 19. Kicking N/A
- 20. Ciampa N/A
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