SelfieAddict
@TrixtopherDuke
in real life I fence and I make art. Find me on Instagram- link below
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FBI BOSS: We've finally found you a new partner. So what do you say when you meet him? ME: Nice to meet you. BOSS: And what do you not say? ME: *sigh* Let's turn this FBI into an FB Us.
People say I'm eccentric but *opens my ornate cigar box and removes a raw hotdog* I disagree.
Are you wise, patient, forgiving, or just too lazy to take revenge?
bass players: what if after the guitar solo I do something like this *makes bubbling spaghetti sauce sounds*
Another Saturday night passes where the rhythm did not get me.
The doctors office would be way more fun if when they called your name they yelled "COME ON DOWN" and everyone stood up and clapped for you.
Nothing misleading about the wildfires in Canada, fueled by a warming climate, that have poisoned the skies of the US.
I asked the barber for a number 2 all over. I've now washed my hair six times and still can't get rid of the smell.
Radical Idea: Kids should be in classrooms or playing outside not getting chemical burns in slaughter houses
Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section
[being seated for blind date] her: have you ever been on one of these before me: yeah I love chairs
[cat and dog meet for negotiations] Mediator: We’re just beginning this process, so right now everything is on the table. Cat: *smiles* Dog: Oh no.
In 2021, I called for Medicaid postpartum coverage to be extended from two months to one year to protect and support our nation’s mothers. 32 states and DC have implemented 12 months of coverage, and other states are on their way. It’s time for all 50 states to get it done.
it took bruce willis 130 minutes to realize he was a ghost and you expect men to know where you want to eat.
In your 20s: a smoke show In your 40s: an electric blanket show
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