The Troll Files
@TrollFiles
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How do people find their soul mate in the first 2 months of college, it took me 4 months just to find the administration building.
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?
If Harry Potter is so magical, why can't he fix his own eyesight?
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn't named Marvin.
I think cops should yell, "PICKACHUUUUUUU!" before they taze someone.
I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.
Don't EVER be ashamed of who you are unless you a hoe... then be ashamed bitch
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
"Jesus loves you" is a nice thing to hear in church, but a terrifying thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Since Prince William is 100% royal and Kate 0%, their son is the half blood prince.
Dinosaurs were just lies fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon
If you ever get caught sleeping at work, just slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, Amen."
Teacher: "You got 0% on your 1000 word essay." Me: "Why?" Teacher: "You submitted a picture." Me: "A pictures worth a 1000 words though."
When you remove the vowels from "FEMALE" you get "FML". Coincidence? I think not.
Cell phones have ruined the joy of throwing someone into a pool.
Tigger: "Yo Pooh bear, get me some of that honey!" Pooh: "Tigga please..."
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