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Gloria Borger looks like the type of person that no matter the type of service she gets ALWAYS wants to speak to the manager. #CNN #CallTheElection
OMG can't believe that Party Rocking by LMFAO has the exact same BPM as Sarah McLachlan's 'I Will Remember You!" Can't stop watching this!!!! #lmfao #bpm #sarahmchlachlan
your rap name is your credit card number + the exp date + the cvc code on the back
I’m convinced that Libby from the Lend Direct commercials is a robot. NO info on her on google. Must be a machine. #lenddirect #libby #nothuman #stillhotthough
I want to go to an Il Divo concert and hear one of them rip a huge accidental burp into the mic during a solo. #ildivo #imagine
I’m talking so much shit about Kevin Costners character in the first 20 mins of 1989’s Field Of Dreams right now. He’s an absolute nut bag.
Just walked past a guy with spacers in his ear lobes. I said “still?” I think he knew what I was talking about.
I wonder how many Facebook friends you would lose if you fb “checked in”to work every single day. #whoknows #nobodyknows #goodquestionthough #harambewasaninsidejob
Whenever someone asks me what I’m listening to on my headphones, I always say “Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life” no matter what is really playing.
I want to hear a newscaster say that a criminal was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for 6 months. #oneday
Who knew that Ving Rhames full first name is Vinegar? Must be Dutch. #vingrhames #crazy #themoreyouknow #nottrue #imfullofshit
Anyone else say shut the fuck up under your breath after the computer at a self serve checkout tells you to have a nice day? #shutup #fuck
No better feeling than scrolling through Netflix with fresh batteries in the tv remote. Homagod. #netflix #tv
Does anyone else think Justin Smoak looks like William Petersen from the movie Manhunter? #justinsmoak #BlueJays
Woke up hungover as fuck to my wife watching the Joy Luck Club. #nightmare #backtobed #killmenow #1993 #harambewasaninsidejob
That moment when your creeping a co-workers profile as they walk into your office. #akward
Smart children are a product of parents teaching them everything their parents instilled in them as well as everything you wished they did.
I've never heard the word "pubic hair" more in a 20 min time span in my life then in the Forensic Files episode "trail of truth" #pubichair
I'm walking with a backpack full of Crystal Pepsi right now. Salvaging it so I can sell it for big bucks in 20 years. #crystalpepsi
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