UrbanAndroid's profile picture. Self righteous commentary from a guy with a shit ton of white privilege.

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@UrbanAndroid

Self righteous commentary from a guy with a shit ton of white privilege.

Chelsea Smith (much like the soccer team) is hilarious.

UrbanAndroid's tweet image. Chelsea Smith (much like the soccer team) is hilarious.

At a restaurant in Michigan and halfway through my meal one of the waitresses runs in the kitchen and yells "ranch 911!" Which means she forgot the ranch. Anyway, that's the most Michigan thing that's ever happened in my life much less since I got back. #puremichigan #ranch


Bars with hooks under them are the dresses with pockets of the restaurant world.


I’ve hit the point of life that the smartest person I know is a 55 year old merchant marine who’s on the dish pit and killing it.


There is about the same amount of evidence tying @DalaiLama to pedophilia as tying drag queens to grooming.


Super fun watching an internet mob attack @DalaiLama like there is a long history of him/Buddhism and pedophilia.


Most of my life I refused to eat shellfish but since moving down here I’ve been really into making shrimp tacos. Annoyed I forgot to get cabbage to shred but this is hands down my best batch so far. 🦐 instagram.com/p/CoGeJhHjhgp/…


Just posted a photo @ Chalmette Historical Battle Field instagram.com/p/CjTxz2groOlv…


The amount of time I’ve been debating between buying a shelf or leaving New Orleans is palpable.


If the “It’s Corn” kid isn’t a millionaire yet, the system is more broken than we thought…


Tava Indian Street Food: “So good, the guy from @UB40OFFICIAL ate there 2 days in a row.”


Should I tweet more?


Look, it was fun while it lasted, but if I could make a deal with god it would be to never hear a TikTok cover of “Running Up That Hill” ever again. . . #TikTok #RunningUpThatHill


As a bartender, I’m very tired of the trope that you shouldn’t talk politics or religion at the bar. One of the best sitcoms ever made, did an entire show based off of it. Talk about it, argue about it. Show up the next day and do it again. That’s how you change minds. #cheers


Yah know what I didn’t need help from the government for? Giving women another reason not to sleep with me.


Someone needs to give SCOTUS a time out. BAD GOVERNMENT. BAD, BAD, BAD GOVERNMENT.


A Russian woman was asked how she felt about @McDonalds leaving Russia over the war in Ukraine & she responded “I am upset because they have my favorite ice cream.” All I took away from this is that THE FU**ING @McDonalds ICE CREAM MACHINES WORK IN RUSSIA BUT NOT IN THE USA.


If the world can't come together and collectively decide that twitter is now ONLY for talking shit about @elonmusk , then I think it's safe to say we'll probably never achieve world peace or get the ice cream machines at McDonald's to work.


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