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absolute thrill to give the pan a little shake when im cooking. no idea what the fuck im doing but it sure makes me feel fancy
[Tour of NASA Headquarters] Guide: So NASA was founded in July of 1958 with the goal- Me: *interrupting* Is it true the moon won’t bleed no matter how many times you stab it? Guide: *into walkie talkie* He’s back.
REASONS WHY WE SHOULD FLATTEN ALL MOUNTAINS: 1. They must be punished for injuring our precious skiers 2. I suspect that mountains are formed by Satan pushing the land upwards with his horns. WE MUST REJECT HIS EVIL ROCK CREATIONS 3. I know a guy who's good at bulldozing things
REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CUT DOWN ALL THE TREES 1. To punish them for stealing our precious carbon dioxide 2. The Bible doesn't say we shouldn't 3. Would prevent my frisbee getting stuck in them 4. Would lower the risk of me falling out of a tree while trying to retrieve my frisbee
Me: *holding my pet rat who is wearing full karate gear* Oh RAP battle, that makes more sense.
Advantages and disadvantages of keeping bees in the pocket of my jeans: Advantages - If someone steals my jeans and then puts their hand into the pocket, they will regret stealing my jeans Disadvantages None that I can think of
Happy 3rd birthday to @StellarisGame! It may not be under my wing anymore, but it will always have a very special place in my heart. Can't wait to see what comes next.
— Здравствуйте, мы продаем велосипеды, хотели бы разместить рекламу на вашем сайте. — Без проблем. — Реклама должна быть нативной. — Но у нас сайт про древний Шуме… — РЕКЛАМА ДОЛЖНА БЫТЬ НАТИВНОЙ.
I love The Sims because I can act out my craziest fantasies like advancing in my career and building relationships.
Another busy day teaching horseriding lessons to my clients
New year, new upgrades. Introducing unlimited free private repositories, and a new unified Enterprise product. blog.github.com/2019-01-07-new…
MOST DANGEROUS WEAPONS THAT AN ENEMY COULD USE TO CLUB YOU TO DEATH: 5. Tennis racket 4. Golf club 3. Baseball bat 2. Cricket bat 1. A baguette that's, like, three days old
As announced on stream, MegaCorp was my last expansion as Game Director of @StellarisGame. The reigns to the game are now in the safe hands of @dmoregard, who has been working as game designer on the project alongside me for almost three years.
For years, people have asked, "Who is the worst criminal of all-time?" The answer is this guy:
Поддержи OpenSource, Будь мужиком! @DigitalOcean @GitHub and @Twilio hacktoberfest.digitalocean.com #hacktoberfest
Твиттер сегодня опять обсуждает плохие переводы. В связи с этим хочу поделиться с вами лучшим переводом, который когда-либо видело человечество.
United States Trends
- 1. Dodgers N/A
- 2. #TheTraitorsUS N/A
- 3. Mets N/A
- 4. #TNAiMPACT N/A
- 5. Colton N/A
- 6. #PowerForce N/A
- 7. Gabe Vincent N/A
- 8. World Series N/A
- 9. Yankees N/A
- 10. Baseball N/A
- 11. Lamelo N/A
- 12. Draymond N/A
- 13. Bellinger N/A
- 14. #DONTBEDUMB N/A
- 15. Nobel N/A
- 16. Skubal N/A
- 17. Ohtani N/A
- 18. Cohen N/A
- 19. #TNAonAMC N/A
- 20. Lockout N/A
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