wellputproverbs
@WellPutProverbs
Rewording well-known proverbs and other phrases to the betterment.
Too many people hanging around offering their unwanted opinion on your cooking can often lead to spoiling the dinner completely.
If someone is giving you some food to consume, it would be ill-advised to chew their fingers..
If you've hurt yourself in any way, don't seek medical assistance, instead just leave it for an unspecified amount of time and it'll be ok.
Not even hell is as angry as a woman you might have said something offensive to.
If someone steals one of your eyes or teeth, stealing one of their eyes or teeth in return is a perfectly acceptable action.
If you intend to store apples in a barrel, check that none are gross and manky, as it can make the other apples gross and manky too.
Whilst driving, if you complete a particularly efficient turn, either left or right, you deserve to repeat the manoeuvre later on.
If you are the concept of the indefinite continued progress of existence, only hang around for women.
More often than not, it's really dark in the moments just before the sun rises.
If you fall over when walking, just before it happens, you'll feel proud.
If you can hear a fat lady singing, chances are it's over.
If you sang 'Father and Son' + 'Tea for the Tillerman', you are allowed to look at the guy who sang 'Viva Las Vegas' + 'Suspicious Minds'.
If you're a nurse, simply laugh at all your patients and they will get better in no time.
Instead of sitting in a dark room grumbling about how dark it is, you'd be better off turning a lamp on.
If you want to hurt someone, use sticks and stones - words are only emotionally painful rather than physically.
If you live in a house made out of glass, don't go round throwing stones, and also, stop living in a greenhouse, you lunatic.
If your dog sleeptalks things like "Yeah, I once flew over the house chasing a cat" you should just let him carry on fibbing.
If you've been naughty in the past, don't throw stones at other people who have also been naughty.
![alicepopey's profile picture. [*shameless self promotion*]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/709398172733476864/wNyFRFbK.jpg)
United States Trends
- 1. El Paso N/A
- 2. #njnbg N/A
- 3. Jake Lee N/A
- 4. Rio Rico N/A
- 5. Wemby N/A
- 6. #njpw N/A
- 7. Carlos Palazuelos N/A
- 8. Nancy Guthrie N/A
- 9. Tumbler Ridge N/A
- 10. Bronny N/A
- 11. Mizuki N/A
- 12. Thomas Frank N/A
- 13. British Columbia N/A
- 14. Dahyun N/A
- 15. Pacers N/A
- 16. Tucson N/A
- 17. #OlandriaxYSLBeauty N/A
- 18. Flour N/A
- 19. #T20WorldCup N/A
- 20. Spring Festival N/A
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.